Weekend Predictions: 03-20-09

This weekend Hollywood is changing things up a bit. Instead of giving us another Disney family movie, another horror remake, and another sex comedy made by a bunch of people no one has ever heard of, we get an action movie, some sort of spy movie, and a dick flick- it’s like a chick flick but about guys and features dirty jokes rather than romance.

The big movie this weekend is Knowing, kind of a big scif-fi/action/thriller sort of thing. Nicolas Cage digs up a time capsule and finds it chock full of predictions of the future- some that have come true and some that have yet to. It sounds like it could be more garbage along the lines of Next, but Ale Proyas [...]

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Weekend Report: The Rock Introduces Watchmen To The People’s Armpit

watchmen-sadWell, it appears Watchmen was just a one weekend wonder, dropping off nearly 70% in it’s second weekend. It’s certainly not what the studio wanted, but probably one of the possible outcomes they foresaw, albeit one they didn’t take too seriously or they wouldn’t have invested such a huge chunk of money in the movie. Even if Watchmen will never be called a success and will cause studios to think twice before blowing hundreds of millions on a fairly obscure comic book adaptation, the real casualties here are the expectations of moviegoers that have been building for nearly a year. Despite Watchmen getting decent reviews, it sure ain’t setting the world on fire.

While Watchmen [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-13-09

For the first time since the last Friday the 13th, we’ve got three new wide releases for the weekend. We got another Disney family movie, another horror remake, and another sex comedy made by a bunch of people no one has ever heard of. What a great time to be alive!

The Rock, or as most people know him- Dwayne Johnson, is back again with more family-friendly entertainment in Race to Witch Mountain. It first seemed like The Rock’s career was targeted towards entertaining the WWE hoodlums that geeked out whenever he raised his eyebrow, but at some point it shifted towards entertaining the kids that his old fans probably used to beat up. The Game Plan, Gridiron Gang, and soon Tooth Fairy, where [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-06-09

watchmenThe question is who’s watching the Watchmen? The answer is damn near everyone since this is the only new wide release this weekend. Every other movie apparently trembles in fear of Watchmen’s greatness.

I’ve never been into comics or their high-minded cousin the graphic novel, or all this superhero nonsense either. Really, it just does nothing for me. If it’s a good movie, then great. If it’s not, then it ain’t much of a surprise. A lot of people are already in love with the movie because they love the graphic novel, but a good source does not a good movie make. Although I haven’t read more handful of comics, I know enough to know [...]

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Weekend Report: I Thought The Jonas Brothers Were Popular

jonas-confusedLast year, the Hanna Montana 3D concert movie pulled in an unreal $45,561 per screen on it’s opening weekend. That was kind of the baseline most people were looking at for the Jonas Brothers movie. No one really thought it would go quite that high, but still, most people thought it might be in the ballpark. The Internet is full of arguments about the popularity of Miley Cyrus versus the Jonas Brothers, so you’d expect fans would’ve turned out in droves this weekend.

As it turns out, not that many people really give a shit about the Jonas Brothers. The movie made $12,510,374, averaging $9,843 per theater. That’s good for most movies, but it’s barely [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 02-27-09

It’s another barnburner of a weekend for movies! There are two fine new films being released this week. It’s too bad they’re getting released so early in the year- it will definitely hurt their chances of picking up nominations for next year’s big awards. Pfft!

If the Jonas Brothers curl your toes, prepare for the orgasm of your life. Finally, Jonas Brothers: The 3D Concert Experience is here. If you’re asking yourself what the hell a Jonas Brother is and why should I care, the answers are nothing significant and don’t bother. Just ignore this and go see that movie about the transvestite in prison or any of the other fine movies that have been released lately. And if the Jonas Brothers do get [...]

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Weekend Report: Madea Shanks The Competition

Despite only opening two movies and having the second lowest weekend box office total of the year, somehow it was still a record-breaking weekend. I had predicted $14,363,931 for Madea Goes to Jail, but I must have transposed some numbers or something because this movie, it took in $41,030,947. It crushed anything Tyler Perry has put out before. Crushed by $11 million. I guess more people were looking forward to this than expected. Or at least more than anything else showing this weekend: the next closest movie was $30 million back.

As for the record, it’s said that this was the biggest ever opening on the fewest number of screens. What the hell that means, I know not. How do you even calculate something [...]

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Weekend Report: Sweet Jesus

This was a great weekend at the movies. That’s a comment on the amount of money pulled in at the box office, not on the copious number of quality movies. The total take was $189,007,885, up 22% from last week and 36% from last year. The long weekend was good to many movies- through Sunday, Taken was off just 8% from last week, Coraline 12%, and Paul Blart [sigh] was up 1%.

But all that means less than nothing when it’s fueled by another godforsaken remake. Friday the 13th pulled in with $40,570,365, $9 million above my prediction. The fact that it was released on Friday the 13th no doubt gave it a boost, but the wide appeal of horror movies these days has [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 02-13-09

It’s understandable if you suffer a little déjà vu when you peruse the new releases this weekend. For the third week in a row we’ve got a new romantic comedy, a low profile action-centric movie, and a horror movie.

There is a Friday the 13th remake. I predict $31,622,044.

The second biggest release this weekend is Confessions of a Shopaholic. A romantic comedy based on the popular book of the same name. What differentiates this movie from He’s Just Not The Into You is the lack of big names and a PG rating. Maybe it’s just that I’m a dude, or maybe these movies are just directed at fans of the books, but even though I’ve seen the trailers for both these movies several [...]

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Weekend Report: He’s Just Not That Into The Pink Panther

Despite having a real mixed bag of new releases to go with the mixed bag of previously released movies, there was a 22% increase in total box office from last weekend. It was nice, but the movies released this weekend were a little higher profile than last week. I guess that goes to show you that maybe the Super Bowl doesn’t have a huge impact on the box office.

Coming in at number one was the movie based on a plotless book, He’s Just Not That into You. Despite shamelessly capitalizing on the title of a book that shamelessly got it’s title from a TV show having no shame, it seems women were pretty hard up for a romantic comedy, not being satisfied with [...]

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