Weekend Report: And You Thought You Were Obsessed

Take from this what you will, but currently on Rotten Tomatoes, The Soloist has a 60% rating, Fighting has 36%, and Obsessed has 20%. A rational person might conclude that the money earned by the movies would follow a similar pattern, with the most favorably reviewed movie earning more money. But no, the inverse is true: the lower the rating, the more money the movie made. And then you’ll notice that Crank: High Voltage has a 62% rating and probably ask yourself if those ratings really mean anything at all.

catfightObsessed, in spite of generally poor reviews, came out big this weekend, to the tune of $28,612,730, $9 million more than my prediction. Now, I’m [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-24-09

Let’s say you were traveling through time. It’s one of those situations where you just kind of slip into a new time period, not sure where you’ve ended up. You ask the first person you see to tell you the date. Now this person, they’re a bit of a smartass and instead of giving you a straight answer, they give you a couple clues. So rather than just being decent and telling you the date, they tell you this: “Today is the day these three movies were released: One is about underground street fighting competitions. Another is an erotic thriller. And the third is a heartwarming musical biopic.”

Instead of popping this smartass upside the head like they deserve, you sit down and you [...]

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Weekend Report: 17 Is Sweeter The Umpteenth Time Around

seventeenIf it’s a weekend, then by default it’s a good weekend for Hollywood. But it’s much more rare for my predictions to have a good weekend. For a change, this weekend I was close on all three.

To no one’s surprise, 17 Again came out on top this weekend to the tune of $23,722,310. I predicted $26,270,805. $2.5 million- that’s darn near a bullseye for as close as I’ve been lately. People, I should say women, as in 75% of the audience was female, weren’t turned off by the rehashed old man in a kid’s body story. They were actually probably turned on seeing Zac Efron headline his first movie. For real, three-quarters of the [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-17-09

The new ideas, they keep on rolling out of Hollywood. Take this weekend for instance. An adult mysteriously turns back into a teenager. A political thriller guaranteeing a bunch of twists. A sequel to a mindless action movie. Nope, never heard of any of those before.

17 Again wouldn’t amount to nothing if folks of the female persuasion didn’t fall all over themselves to see Zac Efron. Seriously, the people-changing-ages-and-learning-a-valuable-life-lesson genre is as played out as any and putting Matthew Perry’s name on a movie means about pretty much near nothing. So this thing is going to rely on the guy from High School Musical. And most likely, it’ll do just fine. I’m going to float a guess of $26,270,805.

The second biggest release [...]

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Weekend Report: Hannah Montana Not As Popular As Jesus

miley-cyrus-winkWith this past Sunday being Easter, it finally provided the ultimate showdown we’ve all been waiting for: Hannah Montana versus Jesus. You’d think that if The Beatles were more popular than Jesus, well Hannah Montana was a shoe-in. As it turns out, God’s kid is still more popular than Disney’s.

Hannah Montana the Movie got off to a relatively big $17.5 million Friday, but by Sunday had dropped to a scant $4.5 million, a drop so precipitous that it takes the record for the most front-loaded opening weekend away from Twilight. I’m not exactly sure what comment this makes about the world or movies, but having the two most front-loaded movies in history occur this [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-10-09

To celebrate Easter this weekend, Hollywood is giving us three new family movies, if, that is, kids can drag their parents to see Hannah Montana, parents can drag their kids along to see Observe and Report, or anyone at all wants to see Dragonball Evolution.

Hannah Montana the Movie is the biggest release this weekend, being crammed into 3,118 theaters. Last year, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (which might win the contest for most descriptive title ever) set the record for the highest per theater average for a wide release in the history of the world, a totally asinine $45,561 per theater on the opening weekend. However this time around, the hype isn’t near as big and the movie isn’t [...]

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Weekend Report: The Fastest, Most Furious April Weekend Ever

fast-and-furiousWho knew that dropping those pesky definite articles would be such a good idea? Fast & Furious made every other movie that has ever come out in the month of April look like an idiot, finishing the weekend with $70,950,500. Needless to say, it also made me look like an idiot for predicting $40,297,220. The previous king of April was Anger Management, nearly $30 million below the new mark set by Fast & Furious.

I thought The Fast and The Furious was a one-off movie with an idea abused for a couple who-gives-a-shit sequels, an idea- people race cars, oh and they’re criminals- that has been fairly well played out. I mean, they just ripped [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-03-09

This weekend’s new releases are a study in contrasts. One is the latest installment in a high-profile series, the other meets nearly any definition of an independent movie.

Fast & Furious is going back to it’s roots in the fourth installment. It reunites all the people who have gone on to bigger things since the first movie with those who couldn’t hack it without Vin Diesel headlining the movie. And they’ve gone and tightened up the title. All those repetitive definite articles in the title were just grammatically ugly and annoying. Dropping the The’s makes everything much better and just gets to the point. Finally, I can really understand what these movies are about. Now I see why Jane Austen didn’t go with The [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-27-09

It looks like March is going to go out the same way it came in- with a big blockbuster movie.

Monsters vs. Aliens will be the recipient of all the love this weekend. The hype has been building for months, peaking with the flashback-inducing Super Bowl commercial. It probably would have helped if I had a pair of the 3D glasses to watch it, but spending a few minutes back in 1986 wasn’t so bad. You know how porn movies will take the title of a legitimate movie and make sound dirty, like Forrest Hump or Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildos? I think this movie is starting that trend in kid’s movies, obviously taking it’s title from Alien vs. Predator. But there’s a good chance [...]

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Weekend Report: Knowing What The People Want

It’s a pretty down time for movies, not just during this time of year, but in the quality and variety of movies in general. This past weekend took in $105 million overall, down $8 million from last year, $30 million from 2007, and $4 million from 2006, a time when tickets were about 10% cheaper. My predictions were all off in the neighborhood of $4-5 million.

Knowing came in first with $24,604,751, awfully close to the same number Race to Witch Mountain did last week, despite getting pretty bad reviews. Nicolas Cage used to have a reputation for taking on very diverse and interesting roles, but since he won Best Actor for Leaving Las Vegas, he’s plunged himself headlong into generic action-y movies, only [...]

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