Weekend Predictions: 05-08-09

Though we’re still six weeks from the start of Summer, the Summer movie season is well under way. The latest contender for biggest movie o’ the year is Star Trek.

captain-kirkWithout knowing much about the movie, you can tell by the fact there’s no subtitle that this is a do-over rather than any kind of a sequel. They’re taking Captain Kirk and the gang all the way back to the Starfleet Academy and making you forget everything you know about Star Trek. Those old farts just weren’t relevant to today’s sensibilities. It needs more special effects, more monsters, more sex, more dramatic camera angles, more contrast, more things whizzing past the camera, etc. And it’s [...]

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Why Would Anyone Want To Remake Videodrome?

videodromeSometimes you just shake your head in disgust and ask yourself what the world is coming to. For many people, that may have happened when they first saw Videodrome. For me, it happened when I read that Universal is remaking Videodrome.

The movie, well I guess I should say the original Videodrome, was about sleazy TV producer Max Renn, always on the lookout for some new trash to feed his audience. He thinks he’s found the program of his dreams when he’s introduced to Videodrome. Torture, murder, no plot. It’s got it all. And best of all, it looks so real. Max becomes obsessed with Videodrome and he soon learns his recent hallucinations are [...]

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Piranha 3D: Is There A Horror Movie They Won’t Remake?

piranha-posterIt’s a serious question, is there a horror movie that won’t be remade? You’d figure there would be someĀ  movies so revered that no one would attempt a remake, but we’ve gotten recent remakes of Halloween and Friday the 13th, two of the most iconic modern horror movies. Not to mention Psycho, Dawn of the Dead, The Omen, etc.

You’d also figure there would be movies that gained a little notoriety by ripping off the plot of a famous horror movie that wouldn’t really be worth the effort to remake. Logically, you’re right. Practically, you’re wrong.

My Bloody Valentine was a ripoff of any random slasher movie that came before it, but that didn’t stop [...]

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Will Your Favorite Movie Be Better In 3D?

3d-conversionIf you hadn’t yet noticed, 3D is coming back to movies in a big way. Every week or two a new release makes it’s way into a few 3D theaters. By most accounts, or at least box office receipts, people seem to enjoy the 3D thing so Hollywood is going to push it until it’s all pushed out. Because you know, it’s easier to get people to spend more money on movies by making them look spiffier than actually trying to make better movies.

The problem Hollywood has is that not every movie is financially appropriate for 3D. Using Monster vs. Aliens (the biggest digital 3D release to date) as a case study, if you’ve [...]

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The Topper Remake Illustrates Why I Hate Remakes So Very Much

topperThe first Topper movie was made in 1937 and starred Cary Grant as a ghost who, along with his ghost wife, decides that in their recently deceased state, what they need to do is loosen up Cosmo Topper and get him to bust out of the staid mold his wife has forced on him. It was a big financial success and even got nominated for a couple Academy Awards. It solidified Grant’s comedy career and inspired a couple sequels and a couple TV iterations. It sounds like a great movie for a remake, doesn’t it? Once popular and pretty much forgotten, but probably has enough name recognition to attract an audience.

So it should be [...]

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Oh Boy, The Bodyguard Remake?

It’s supposed to be a secret, but it’s really not. There is obviously some clandestine element in Hollywood that is trying to undermine the film industry. How else can you explain Marley and Me and Paul Blart accounting for $280 million at the box office. Really, there’s no other explanation. And if you can come up with one, then you’re probably one of them.

The main plot this nefarious group of heartless jackals is involved in is to remake every single movie that’s ever been made. It wouldn’t be so obvious if they spaced them out further, but when there’s one released nearly every week, it’s just too conspicuous. I think they’re about halfway through with the horror movies.

The latest news in the [...]

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Weekend Report: The Rock Introduces Watchmen To The People’s Armpit

watchmen-sadWell, it appears Watchmen was just a one weekend wonder, dropping off nearly 70% in it’s second weekend. It’s certainly not what the studio wanted, but probably one of the possible outcomes they foresaw, albeit one they didn’t take too seriously or they wouldn’t have invested such a huge chunk of money in the movie. Even if Watchmen will never be called a success and will cause studios to think twice before blowing hundreds of millions on a fairly obscure comic book adaptation, the real casualties here are the expectations of moviegoers that have been building for nearly a year. Despite Watchmen getting decent reviews, it sure ain’t setting the world on fire.

While Watchmen [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-13-09

For the first time since the last Friday the 13th, we’ve got three new wide releases for the weekend. We got another Disney family movie, another horror remake, and another sex comedy made by a bunch of people no one has ever heard of. What a great time to be alive!

The Rock, or as most people know him- Dwayne Johnson, is back again with more family-friendly entertainment in Race to Witch Mountain. It first seemed like The Rock’s career was targeted towards entertaining the WWE hoodlums that geeked out whenever he raised his eyebrow, but at some point it shifted towards entertaining the kids that his old fans probably used to beat up. The Game Plan, Gridiron Gang, and soon Tooth Fairy, where [...]

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How Long Is Long Enough To Start Talking About A Do-Over?

power-buttonThough I have already grown awfully weary of superhero/comic book movies, most of the world has yet to embrace that view. You seemingly can’t hit up any movie website without finding a story about some superhero/comic book movie that is/will be/might hopefully be coming out. Even here, where I’m bitching about those movies.

The movie studios and their comic cohorts are trying to make a movie of every damn comic that’s ever been made. It’s like every obscure comic they can find. Fathom, Jonah Hex, or Preacher anyone? Yeah, apparently those are comic books coming soon to a theater near you.

With both popular and obscure superhero/comic movies in the works and decades of comics [...]

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Why Bother Remaking Missing In Action If It’s Direct-To-Video?

missing-in-actionWhen is a door not a door? When it’s ajar. When is a remake not a remake? When it’s an update.

Missing in Action, basically the same as Rambo: First Blood Part II but released a year earlier, was reasonably popular back in it’s day. Vietnam movies were in vogue and everyone loves the idea of a man risking his life to rescue forgotten MIAs. There’s not a more noble premise for a war movie, is there? It was popular enough that the following year a prequel, filmed consecutively with the original, was released, and a sequel a couple years after that. Since Braddock: Missing in Action III, no one’s really given much thought to [...]

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