Weekend Predictions: 05-29-09

So far this year, the biggest overall weekend at the box office was back on January 16 when Paul Blart: Mall Cop took the world by storm. The total spent on movies that weekend was $192,903,837. There’s a chance this weekend could top that.

Up is the widest release this weekend, in 3,766 theaters. It’s also the tenth feature put out by Pixar, and their name has basically become the gold standard in computer animation. And they’re really trying to make a point that their name is bigger than the subject of whatever movie they put forth. Cars was about a car that got arrested and had to repave a road, Ratatouille was about a rat that wanted to be a chef, and WALL-E [...]

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The Strangers Left Me Wanting For A Refund

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today I don’t know what it is Something’s wrong with our eyes

-Aerosmith, Livin’ on the Edge

The are few things that have gotten as tedious for me as watching horror movies. It seems all modern horror movies fit the same mold. There’s an interesting idea. A half-assed attempt to make us care about the victims (there aren’t really protagonists in horror movies any more, just victims and iconic psychopaths). There are a few atmospheric scares. Then the filmmakers run out of ideas and begin painting with bazookas, becoming more blunt and violent until the movie ends. There’s no actual ending, the movie just ends as the centimeter deep well of ideas is long past empty.

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Why Would Anyone Want To Remake Videodrome?

videodromeSometimes you just shake your head in disgust and ask yourself what the world is coming to. For many people, that may have happened when they first saw Videodrome. For me, it happened when I read that Universal is remaking Videodrome.

The movie, well I guess I should say the original Videodrome, was about sleazy TV producer Max Renn, always on the lookout for some new trash to feed his audience. He thinks he’s found the program of his dreams when he’s introduced to Videodrome. Torture, murder, no plot. It’s got it all. And best of all, it looks so real. Max becomes obsessed with Videodrome and he soon learns his recent hallucinations are [...]

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Piranha 3D: Is There A Horror Movie They Won’t Remake?

piranha-posterIt’s a serious question, is there a horror movie that won’t be remade? You’d figure there would be some  movies so revered that no one would attempt a remake, but we’ve gotten recent remakes of Halloween and Friday the 13th, two of the most iconic modern horror movies. Not to mention Psycho, Dawn of the Dead, The Omen, etc.

You’d also figure there would be movies that gained a little notoriety by ripping off the plot of a famous horror movie that wouldn’t really be worth the effort to remake. Logically, you’re right. Practically, you’re wrong.

My Bloody Valentine was a ripoff of any random slasher movie that came before it, but that didn’t stop [...]

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Weekend Report: More Big 3D Profits

To the surprise of no one, Monsters vs. Aliens handily crushed the competition at the box office with $59,321,095, $3 million north of my prediction. The interesting bit is that the 3D screens accounted for around 55% of the total gross. Fandango reports that the premium for a 3D showing of MvA at a local theater is $3.50. If that represents the average bump for 3D, then the average 3D ticket would be about $10.70. So if 3D accounted for $32.9 million, that would be about 3.07 million tickets. That leaves about $26.4 million for the 2D tickets, about 3.66 million of them. Even though 2D sold 20% more tickets, 3D represented 10% more in the gross. If there were no 3D, the gross [...]

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Is The Cottage A Crime Caper Or A Horror Comedy?

the-cottageMr. Furious (that’s my dad) is a bit of an odd duck, especially when it comes to movies. It’s not really accurate to say he has an eclectic taste, it’s more random than that. Some of his favorite movies include Curly Sue, Dudley Do-Right, and While You Were Sleeping. But he also loves movies filled with nudity and gratuitous violence. His main complaint about Troy wasn’t the heavy focus on Brad Pitt’s oiled body, but that the movie wasn’t nearly bloody enough.

Since he doesn’t watch TV and hasn’t rented a movie in this millennium, he buys a lot of DVDs, especially the ones costing $5 dollars or less. If he doesn’t like the movie [...]

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Horror Movie Musings

I’ve been watching a lot of horror movies lately. Some good, some bad. Mostly bad. Are there any good horror movies made in the US anymore?

With these half-assed horror remakes, is it better to see the original first to know what the remake did so wrong or see the remake first to see what the original did so well?

How can a deranged killer elude an entire police force, find every hidden entrance and exit, kill everyone that gets in his way, and somehow manage to be outsmarted by a teenage girl?

When a cop is stationed in their cruiser outside a house, it’s usually a death sentence.

To date, John Carpenter and Wes Craven have both had 11% of their movies remade, [...]

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Weekend Report: Sweet Jesus

This was a great weekend at the movies. That’s a comment on the amount of money pulled in at the box office, not on the copious number of quality movies. The total take was $189,007,885, up 22% from last week and 36% from last year. The long weekend was good to many movies- through Sunday, Taken was off just 8% from last week, Coraline 12%, and Paul Blart [sigh] was up 1%.

But all that means less than nothing when it’s fueled by another godforsaken remake. Friday the 13th pulled in with $40,570,365, $9 million above my prediction. The fact that it was released on Friday the 13th no doubt gave it a boost, but the wide appeal of horror movies these days has [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 02-13-09

It’s understandable if you suffer a little déjà vu when you peruse the new releases this weekend. For the third week in a row we’ve got a new romantic comedy, a low profile action-centric movie, and a horror movie.

There is a Friday the 13th remake. I predict $31,622,044.

The second biggest release this weekend is Confessions of a Shopaholic. A romantic comedy based on the popular book of the same name. What differentiates this movie from He’s Just Not The Into You is the lack of big names and a PG rating. Maybe it’s just that I’m a dude, or maybe these movies are just directed at fans of the books, but even though I’ve seen the trailers for both these movies several [...]

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The Happening aka The Crappening

the-crappeningRegardless of the warnings I received, I was bound and determined to see The Happening. There’s no way, I said, that it can be as bad as everyone says. They’re all jaded because of M. Night Shyamalan’s undying love of the twist ending, that’s all. I’ll see it and enjoy it, just like his under-appreciated The Village. The Lady in the Water, that was just an anomaly. Shyamalan’s cup of hubris had runneth over. Things could only get better.

After seeing The Crappening, I really wish I would have heeded those warnings. This has to be one of the worst movies I’ve seen by a director with as much talent as Shyamalan. It was bad [...]

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