Weekend Report: Knowing What The People Want

It’s a pretty down time for movies, not just during this time of year, but in the quality and variety of movies in general. This past weekend took in $105 million overall, down $8 million from last year, $30 million from 2007, and $4 million from 2006, a time when tickets were about 10% cheaper. My predictions were all off in the neighborhood of $4-5 million.

Knowing came in first with $24,604,751, awfully close to the same number Race to Witch Mountain did last week, despite getting pretty bad reviews. Nicolas Cage used to have a reputation for taking on very diverse and interesting roles, but since he won Best Actor for Leaving Las Vegas, he’s plunged himself headlong into generic action-y movies, only [...]

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Is The Cottage A Crime Caper Or A Horror Comedy?

the-cottageMr. Furious (that’s my dad) is a bit of an odd duck, especially when it comes to movies. It’s not really accurate to say he has an eclectic taste, it’s more random than that. Some of his favorite movies include Curly Sue, Dudley Do-Right, and While You Were Sleeping. But he also loves movies filled with nudity and gratuitous violence. His main complaint about Troy wasn’t the heavy focus on Brad Pitt’s oiled body, but that the movie wasn’t nearly bloody enough.

Since he doesn’t watch TV and hasn’t rented a movie in this millennium, he buys a lot of DVDs, especially the ones costing $5 dollars or less. If he doesn’t like the movie [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-20-09

This weekend Hollywood is changing things up a bit. Instead of giving us another Disney family movie, another horror remake, and another sex comedy made by a bunch of people no one has ever heard of, we get an action movie, some sort of spy movie, and a dick flick- it’s like a chick flick but about guys and features dirty jokes rather than romance.

The big movie this weekend is Knowing, kind of a big scif-fi/action/thriller sort of thing. Nicolas Cage digs up a time capsule and finds it chock full of predictions of the future- some that have come true and some that have yet to. It sounds like it could be more garbage along the lines of Next, but Ale Proyas [...]

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Stimulating The Economy In 3-D

monsters-vs-aliens-3dEveryone knows that 3-D is the future of movies. Every week or two we get another new 3-D movie event to go see, even dreck like a remake of My Bloody Valentine. You need look  no further for evidence that, like it or not, 3-D is being forced down our throats.

DreamWorks Animation’s next 3-D event will be Monsters vs. Aliens, releasing on the 27th. What they hope is that people will get all hot and bothered about 3-D and opt to pay the premium over the archaic 2-D projection. DreamWorks had hoped to get a bunch of new theaters converted to 3-D in time for this movie, but there was a little issue with [...]

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Oh Boy, The Bodyguard Remake?

It’s supposed to be a secret, but it’s really not. There is obviously some clandestine element in Hollywood that is trying to undermine the film industry. How else can you explain Marley and Me and Paul Blart accounting for $280 million at the box office. Really, there’s no other explanation. And if you can come up with one, then you’re probably one of them.

The main plot this nefarious group of heartless jackals is involved in is to remake every single movie that’s ever been made. It wouldn’t be so obvious if they spaced them out further, but when there’s one released nearly every week, it’s just too conspicuous. I think they’re about halfway through with the horror movies.

The latest news in the [...]

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Dante's Inferno: A Movie Based On A Video Game Based On A Poem

Sometimes the ideas these movie people come up with, they’re just too crazy for words. But I’ll try.

dantes-infernoThe Divine Comedy is an epic poem written by Dante Alighieri back, oh, in the 1300′s. It’s considered one of the world’s greatest works of literature. Inferno represents the first third of the book and details Dante’s journey through Hell, all nine circles of that bitch. Dante and his guide Virgil get to meet and chat up all sorts of sinners and monsters along the way.

Although it’s not an action/adventure story and there’s no battle to speak of, you could see why someone would want to make this a video game. A journey through Hell [...]

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Weekend Report: The Rock Introduces Watchmen To The People’s Armpit

watchmen-sadWell, it appears Watchmen was just a one weekend wonder, dropping off nearly 70% in it’s second weekend. It’s certainly not what the studio wanted, but probably one of the possible outcomes they foresaw, albeit one they didn’t take too seriously or they wouldn’t have invested such a huge chunk of money in the movie. Even if Watchmen will never be called a success and will cause studios to think twice before blowing hundreds of millions on a fairly obscure comic book adaptation, the real casualties here are the expectations of moviegoers that have been building for nearly a year. Despite Watchmen getting decent reviews, it sure ain’t setting the world on fire.

While Watchmen [...]

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This Date In Movie History: March 17th

March 17th. It’s one of those nondescript days of the year that you think will never really amount to much. It’s just an extra day before March 18th. But on the contrary, the 17th is pretty sweet.

Birthdays:

Gary Sinise was born on this date in 1955 and it don’t matter what else he ever does, he’s never outliving that whole Lieutenant Dan thing.

1927 saw the birth of Rudy Ray Moore. If you don’t mind the language, I’d put up Dolemite as the most quotable movie ever.

Kurt Russell was born in 1951. If he can ever team up with John Carpenter again, I swear it’ll solve the world’s economic problems. Is there a person alive that [...]

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MacGyver Was A Silly TV Show, Now It’s A Silly Movie

Wiktionary defines MacGyver as:

To assemble, or cause to be repaired or completed, an object, device, machine, or project from duct tape as the preferred repair tool, but in its absence, other items, (normally common, ordinary and mundane such as a rubber band or paper clip), not normally used for that purpose, where others would assume one needs a manufactured part, as per the design. Especially: if the items are used in ways significantly different than their intended use.

macgyver-kitEven if you never saw MacGyver, there’s little doubt you know all about the premise about a secret agent who was so resourceful he could literally make anything out of anything. I believe he [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-13-09

For the first time since the last Friday the 13th, we’ve got three new wide releases for the weekend. We got another Disney family movie, another horror remake, and another sex comedy made by a bunch of people no one has ever heard of. What a great time to be alive!

The Rock, or as most people know him- Dwayne Johnson, is back again with more family-friendly entertainment in Race to Witch Mountain. It first seemed like The Rock’s career was targeted towards entertaining the WWE hoodlums that geeked out whenever he raised his eyebrow, but at some point it shifted towards entertaining the kids that his old fans probably used to beat up. The Game Plan, Gridiron Gang, and soon Tooth Fairy, where [...]

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