Weekend Predictions: 05-15-09

You’d think that Hollywood studios are always competing against each other, but this month’s evidence shows that it’s really a coordinated dance. The big movie season kicked off with X-Men Origins: Wolverine on May 1st. That was a Fox release. The only new competition that weekend was from Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Warner Bros.), which aimed for a totally different audience than Wolverine. The next weekend Paramount released Star Trek, the only other new wide release was a tiny comedy from tiny distributor Summit Entertainment. This weekend Sony is releasing Angels & Demons, the only wide release. Next weekend has Paramount releasing a comedy, Fox a family movie, and Warner Bros. a big scifi actioner. The last week of May brings a Disney animated [...]

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George Romero And His Softening Stance On Zombies

romero-zombieWhen you hear the name George Romero, the only thing that you can possibly associate it with is zombies. With Night of the Living Dead in 1968, he created the zombie apocalypse genre, as well as redefined what made up the cinematic zombie. Prior to Night of the Living Dead, zombies were generally people under some type of voodoo spell, not the reanimated dead. I think we all owe him a debt of gratitude.

I recently treated (some might say subjected) myself to a Living Dead marathon, watching Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Land of the Dead, and Diary of the Dead back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back. There are worse [...]

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Weekend Report: Star Trek Got Beamed Up

I’m not sure what to make of it, but I’ve been getting pretty close on my predictions lately. Is it just luck or is it my secret blend of 11 herbs and spices I call Adjustments? Logic tells me it’s the former. My ego insists it’s the latter. I’ll go with my ego. Who better to trust than the voices in my head?

A week after X-Men Origins: Wolverine saw the biggest opening of 2009, Star Trek sidles right up behind it in second place. It hauled in $75,204,289 for the weekend, my prediction off a minuscule $5 million, easily becoming the biggest opening in the franchise and will probably become the overall highest-grossing next weekend. But what does that really mean? It’s not [...]

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The Strangers Left Me Wanting For A Refund

There’s somethin’ wrong with the world today I don’t know what it is Something’s wrong with our eyes

-Aerosmith, Livin’ on the Edge

The are few things that have gotten as tedious for me as watching horror movies. It seems all modern horror movies fit the same mold. There’s an interesting idea. A half-assed attempt to make us care about the victims (there aren’t really protagonists in horror movies any more, just victims and iconic psychopaths). There are a few atmospheric scares. Then the filmmakers run out of ideas and begin painting with bazookas, becoming more blunt and violent until the movie ends. There’s no actual ending, the movie just ends as the centimeter deep well of ideas is long past empty.

[...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-08-09

Though we’re still six weeks from the start of Summer, the Summer movie season is well under way. The latest contender for biggest movie o’ the year is Star Trek.

captain-kirkWithout knowing much about the movie, you can tell by the fact there’s no subtitle that this is a do-over rather than any kind of a sequel. They’re taking Captain Kirk and the gang all the way back to the Starfleet Academy and making you forget everything you know about Star Trek. Those old farts just weren’t relevant to today’s sensibilities. It needs more special effects, more monsters, more sex, more dramatic camera angles, more contrast, more things whizzing past the camera, etc. And it’s [...]

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Weekend Report: Wolverine Defeats The Pirates

The big question going into the weekend was how much the leaked copy of X-Men Origins: Wolverine would impact the box office of the movie. With movie studios launching up sob stories about how all these illegal copies of movies are stealing their profits, a nearly finished copy of a blockbuster hitting the Interweb a month before the release was their worse nightmare.

And…

Wolverine became the biggest movie of 2009, taking in $85,805,003. It was just $3.75 million short of my prediction- a veritable bullseye. Not only did it dominate every other movie in terms of total box office, but also in per theater average. That big fat number also made it the 19th biggest opening in the history of cinema, only $500,000 [...]

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Fox CEO Claims Ratings Promote Piracy

pirate-kidThe Swedish Board of Film Censors gave X-Men Origins: Wolverine a 15 classification, the highest rating the board can give, which prevents anyone under 15 from gaining admittance to the movie. Fox Sweden CEO Hansi Mandoki was obviously upset about the decision since now all those violence-hungry Swedish teenagers can’t get their blood and gore fix.

But Mandoki couldn’t just stop by saying “it is sad that so many fans won’t be able to see the film.” No, he had to keep on whining by claiming “I’m certain the decision will mean more illegal downloading of the film.”

Hearing a studio exec bitch and moan about someone not being able to see a movie, that’s [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-01-09

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is going to kickoff a string of big weekends at the movies. Until the middle of June there will be one movie a week that’s going to be aiming for $50+ million. But this May 1st weekend will be one of the most interesting.

When the all but finished print of Wolverine was leaked at the beginning of the month, it set the stage for us to get a real test of how much piracy impacts ticket sales. Despite all the bitching and moaning by Hollywood and the FBI and X-Men fanboys, research is showing that interest in the movie is actually increasing after the calamitous leak. Isn’t there some old saying about there not being any such thing as bad [...]

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Weekend Report: And You Thought You Were Obsessed

Take from this what you will, but currently on Rotten Tomatoes, The Soloist has a 60% rating, Fighting has 36%, and Obsessed has 20%. A rational person might conclude that the money earned by the movies would follow a similar pattern, with the most favorably reviewed movie earning more money. But no, the inverse is true: the lower the rating, the more money the movie made. And then you’ll notice that Crank: High Voltage has a 62% rating and probably ask yourself if those ratings really mean anything at all.

catfightObsessed, in spite of generally poor reviews, came out big this weekend, to the tune of $28,612,730, $9 million more than my prediction. Now, I’m [...]

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Why Would Anyone Want To Remake Videodrome?

videodromeSometimes you just shake your head in disgust and ask yourself what the world is coming to. For many people, that may have happened when they first saw Videodrome. For me, it happened when I read that Universal is remaking Videodrome.

The movie, well I guess I should say the original Videodrome, was about sleazy TV producer Max Renn, always on the lookout for some new trash to feed his audience. He thinks he’s found the program of his dreams when he’s introduced to Videodrome. Torture, murder, no plot. It’s got it all. And best of all, it looks so real. Max becomes obsessed with Videodrome and he soon learns his recent hallucinations are [...]

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