Paradise Lost Movie Details From The 12-Year Old Director

paradise lost luciferJohn Milton’s Paradise Lost is one of the great works of Western literature. It details Adam and Eve’s expulsion from the Garden of Eden by way of their eating of fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil after a little nudging by Satan. Milton’s purpose for the story was to “justify the ways of God to men.” The book is separated into 12 ‘books.’ 1-4 cover Satan’s plotting and journey to Eden, 5-6 give the back-story on Satan’s war in Heaven, and 7-12 deal with the aftermath of Adam and Eve’s disobedience.

Scott Derrickson, director of The Exorcism of Emily Rose and the upcoming The Day the Earth Stood Still [...]

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Public Domain Movie Of The Week: My Man Godfrey

During the Great Depression, one of the most popular characters was the bum with a heart of gold. Nearly everyone could identify with a down on his luck, destitute guy that still held his head up high. The other sentiment that nearly everyone loved was that the rich were a bunch of self-concerned idiots. My Man Godfrey epitomizes both those ideals and connected with both audiences and critics. The story of a bum (formerly a member of a wealthy family) hired as the butler for a family of rich eccentrics and inadvertently gets the romantic attention of one of the daughters was able to capture the public’s imagination by using an anti-wealthy/pro-poor storyline.

My Man Godfrey was able to earn Academy Award nominations for [...]

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Indiana Jones And The Spaceship Of Crap

The latest Indiana Jones movie went through several names before they settled on Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. There were Indiana Jones and the: Saucer Men from Mars, City of Gods, Destroyer of Worlds, Son of Indiana Jones, Mysterians, Atomic Ants, Phantom City of Gods. A couple of those have to be jokes, but honestly, it clearly illustrates the asinine journey this movie took.

Psychic alien skulls and inter-dimensional flying saucers are about as relevant to the Indiana Jones universe as the appendix to the human body- they’re unnecessary and you’re often better off getting rid of them. It could be argued that the religious relics of the previous three movies were just as ridiculous, [...]

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Kung Fu Panda: My Fat Belly Style Can Defeat Whatever You Got

One trait common to all Kung Fu masters is that they practice a distinctive style of Kung Fu- Monkey, Crane, Hamster. But when you’re a big, cuddly Panda, the options are limited: either sneeze and try to scare the hell out of everyone or develop your own style around your enormous gut.

In Kung Fu Panda, Po (Jack Black) is charged with the task of discovering his own style of Kung Fu as he tries to fulfill his destiny as the Dragon Warrior, which he tackles with great enthusiasm. Vicious beatings by Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) and the Furious Five, all chagrined that they were not chosen to be the Dragon Warrior, cannot crush his spirit, [...]

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Assessing The Weekend: Holiday Crapshoot

If you hadn’t noticed, I passed on making a prediction for this past weekend. Aside from making changes to the site, I just wasn’t sure how to approach the long weekend- four days for most of us, but five days as far as movies are concerned. Maybe Thanksgiving day would be especially high or low, maybe Wednesday and Thursday would be big and the rest of the weekend would peter out. And my uncertainty wasn’t totally unfounded: Wednesday the 19th made $6,526,023 while the 26th pulled in $33,325,833, yet Friday, Saturday, and Sunday were nearly the same as the previous week.

Somehow 4.4 million people went to see Four Christmases. That was enough to win [...]

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Public Domain Movie Of The Week: The Stranger

What do you get when an innovative, egomaniacal director who makes movies that don’t make any money sets out to prove to everyone that he can work within the Hollywood system? You get Orson Welles’ The Stranger. It’s generally regarded as Welles’ most conventional offering, but that doesn’t mean it’s just a run-of-the-mill thriller.

Welles plays Franz Kindler, a Nazi war criminal hiding out in a small Connecticut town. Rather than just lie low and keep to himself, Kindler works as a history teacher and is about to marry the daughter of a Supreme Court judge. UN war crimes investigator Mr. Wilson (Edward G. Robinson) scours the globe in search of Kindler, until finally releasing and following one of Kindler’s associates. An intense game of cat-and-mouse ensues as Kindler does all he can to conceal his identity. Continue reading Public Domain Movie Of The Week: The Stranger

Hairspray 2: Who Gets The Fat Suit?

When I say that there’s going to be a Hairspary sequel, there’s no doubt you’re thrown into a whirling cauldron of confusion trying to figure out exactly what I’m talking about. A sequel to the 1988 movie? A movie version of the Broadway sequel to the show based on the 1988 movie? No, it’s a sequel to the 2007 movie because that one made enough money to suggest there are plenty of people willing to get suckered into buying a ticket- not because there’s a compelling reason to continue the story. The movie will focus on the “superpolitical” late 1960s and the changing landscape of popular music. In other words- same story, different costumes, new soundtrack CD.

In one of the few things I’ll [...]

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Assessing The Weekend: I Was A Teenage Emo Vampire

I guess my prediction of the second biggest weekend of the year was wrong. Overall, $156,677,936 was spent at the box office this weekend, making the it eight biggest of the year. [...]

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Gattaca: Beware The Man With Dirty Genes

As long as there have been people, there’s been a desire to change the way we are. We’ve found ways to manipulate some of these things- dye our hair, wear colored contacts, exercise to get stronger, train to run faster. But wouldn’t it be nice if we were just born that way? We could have the inate ability to run a four minute mile or grow to exactly six feet five inches or have strawberry blond hair. And not only tweak our physical traits, but be born disease-free and without the chance of developing disease later in life. It’s every parent’s dream- to have a physically perfect child molded to their own specifications. [...]

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Public Domain Movie Of The Week: The Fast And The Furious

The first The Fast and the Furious is about a man named Frank Webster who escapes from prison after being convicted of a crime he didn’t commit. He kidnaps Connie, a race car driver, who was recently banned from a California to Mexico race because, like most exciting things in 1955, the race was deemed too dangerous for women. [...]

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