Decoding The Thrills Of State Of Play

by Furious
April 19th, 2009

Fresh of the move to his new domain, pacer521 was so excited he just had to write a movie review. Here’s his review of State of Play.

In a growing age of overpaid and overworked cinema that seems to be angled exactly in the path of money, it is never a bad idea to walk outside and take a breath of fresh air. And essentially, with that, I have summed Kevin Macdonald’s State of Play.

If one decided to find a well paced, well worked plot, illogical twists, a good dose of action and a popular but unquestionably skilled cast in the past few years, he/she would be hard pressed to find anything to their liking, and instead offer a dose of the past — something in the realm of a “All the President’s Men” …

Popularity: 29% [?]

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Is The Cottage A Crime Caper Or A Horror Comedy?

by Furious
March 22nd, 2009

Mr. Furious (that’s my dad) is a bit of an odd duck, especially when it comes to movies. It’s not really accurate to say he has an eclectic taste, it’s more random than that. Some of his favorite movies include Curly Sue, Dudley Do-Right, and While You Were Sleeping. But he also loves movies filled with nudity and gratuitous violence. His main complaint about Troy wasn’t the heavy focus on Brad Pitt’s oiled body, but that the movie wasn’t nearly bloody enough.

Since he doesn’t watch TV and hasn’t rented a movie in this millennium, he buys a lot of DVDs, especially the ones costing $5 dollars or less. If he doesn’t like the movie he’ll try to pawn it off on me, explaining why I own RPM and Dracula 2000, amongst many other forgettable …

Popularity: 60% [?]

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Porn and Hamlet SOUNDS Like A Good Idea…

by Furious
March 2nd, 2009

Okay, maybe the combination of porn and Hamlet appeals more to Shakespearean fetishists. I suppose there are people out there that could be really turned on by pornstars speaking their lines in iambic pentameter. But no, I didn’t get to experience this new art form, I got the porn and Hamlet in two different movies: Zack and Miri Make a Porno and Hamlet 2.

Zack and Miri, it’s about these two people named Zack and Miri. They’re like best friends and all, they’ve lived together since high school, but it’s like totally platonic. And these two, it’s a bit of a surprise, but they’re financially retarded. Despite both having regular jobs, they can’t seem to pay a single damn bill. Then Zack gets an inspired idea, they should totally make a porno. Miri, being the reasonable, responsible one, hems and haws

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Popularity: 16% [?]

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The Happening aka The Crappening

by Furious
February 11th, 2009

Regardless of the warnings I received, I was bound and determined to see The Happening. There’s no way, I said, that it can be as bad as everyone says. They’re all jaded because of M. Night Shyamalan’s undying love of the twist ending, that’s all. I’ll see it and enjoy it, just like his under-appreciated The Village. The Lady in the Water, that was just an anomaly. Shyamalan’s cup of hubris had runneth over. Things could only get better.

After seeing The Crappening, I really wish I would have heeded those warnings. This has to be one of the worst movies I’ve seen by a director with as much talent as Shyamalan. It was bad bad bad. I’m not even sure where to begin.

The title The Happening sounds like a joke. Something so blunt and generic that you’d expect this to

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Popularity: 19% [?]

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The Ruins Ruined A Perfectly Good Hour And A Half

by Furious
January 16th, 2009

I saw this movie about a group of college-aged Americans on vacation in a remote foreign locale who meet some Europeans who are also vacationing and some of these people are killed by an evil entity this is protected and/or fueled by the locals. Did I see A) Turistas, B) Hostel, C) Hostel Part II, D) The Ruins, or E) some other generic horror movie that follows the same formula. If you’ve been following since the title, you probably guessed The Ruins. And I’d say you’re probably right, but I can’t say for sure since these movies all kind of blend together into a haze of blood, stupidity, and vivisection.

What sets The Ruins apart from the other similarly plotted movies is that the evil entity is a malevolent, bloodthirsty plant, presumably giving it a timely ecological angle, but

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Popularity: 14% [?]

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Kung Fu Panda: My Fat Belly Style Can Defeat Whatever You Got

by Furious
December 2nd, 2008

One trait common to all Kung Fu masters is that they practice a distinctive style of Kung Fu- Monkey, Crane, Hamster. But when you’re a big, cuddly Panda, the options are limited: either sneeze and try to scare the hell out of everyone or develop your own style around your enormous gut.

In Kung Fu Panda, Po (Jack Black) is charged with the task of discovering his own style of Kung Fu as he tries to fulfill his destiny as the Dragon Warrior, which he tackles with great enthusiasm. Vicious beatings by Shifu (Dustin Hoffman) and the Furious Five, all chagrined that they were not chosen to be the Dragon Warrior, cannot crush his spirit, and he’s cool with leaving behind his father’s dreams of taking over the family noodle business. His

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Popularity: 29% [?]

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Gattaca: Beware The Man With Dirty Genes

by Furious
November 24th, 2008

As long as there have been people, there’s been a desire to change the way we are. We’ve found ways to manipulate some of these things- dye our hair, wear colored contacts, exercise to get stronger, train to run faster. But wouldn’t it be nice if we were just born that way? We could have the inate ability to run a four minute mile or grow to exactly six feet five inches or have strawberry blond hair. And not only tweak our physical traits, but be born disease-free and without the chance of developing disease later in life. It’s every parent’s dream- to have a physically perfect child molded to their own specifications.

Popularity: 23% [?]

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All Aboard The Midnight Meat Train

by Furious
October 21st, 2008

If you didn’t know any better, you might think The Midnight Meat Train was the most anticipated, greatest movie you never heard of.

Popularity: 37% [?]

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The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: They Don’t Make Them Like This Anymore

by Furious
October 13th, 2008

Tobe Hooper’s career has been on a downward slide since he made The Texas Chain Saw Massacre in 1974. Maybe he’s a hack that got lucky with his first theatrically released movie.

Popularity: 10% [?]

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