AFI’s biggest list is the 100 Greatest American Movies. Not to be outdone, others have come up with their own 100 movie lists, such as Time’s All-Time 100 Movies. These lists are nice and all, but trying to list the best movies is so subjective that the lists really aren’t more than a soon forgotten conversation piece.

But Yahoo might have come up with a list that is, for lack of a better word, perfect. 100 Movies to See Before You Die. As I read through the list, I couldn’t argue against the inclusion of any movie. Sure there are some I would have added, but none I could remove. How could you argue against Animal House or Die Hard? You don’t usually see Groundhog Day on these kind of lists, but there’s no way I’d take it off. Or The Matrix. Or This is Spinal Tap. Yeah it’s got the usual suspects like Casablanca and Citizen Kane, Star Wars and Raiders of the Lost Ark, but what balls on these list-makers to include Titanic as a must-see. And you should see it at least once, even if it’s just to be confused about how it made so much money. The list has even got Enter the Dragon.

Movie lists are a dime a dozen or cheaper, but this one really stands out for it’s honesty. Everyone should see all 100 of these movies before they die, so some of us really need to get busy.

Birthdays:

Gary Sinise was born on this date in 1955 and it don’t matter what else he ever does, he’s never outliving that whole Lieutenant Dan thing.

1927 saw the birth of Rudy Ray Moore. If you don’t mind the language, I’d put up Dolemite as the most quotable movie ever.

Kurt Russell was born in 1951. If he can ever team up with John Carpenter again, I swear it’ll solve the world’s economic problems. Is there a person alive that WOULDN’T pay to see that?

When Rob Lowe was born in 1964, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear that he was hitting on nurses in the hospital.

John B. Sebastian was born in 1944 and only gets a mention because he sang the theme to Welcome Back, Kotter. That was a great show.

There were a couple notable deaths: cinematographer/director Freddie Francis (2007) and the great Italian director Luchino Visconti (1976).

Marriages: It looks like Kurt Russell wasn’t happy with March 17th just being his birthday, it’s also the day he married Season Hubley in 1979. And way back in 1923, the original heartthrob Rudolph Valentino married Natacha Rambova.

The top three highest-grossing opening weekends to end on March 17th all occurred in 2002. In order: Ice Age, Resident Evil, and Showtime. Yeah, I also did a double take when I saw Showtime.

The Shirley Temple classic The Little Princess was released in 1939. In 1972 we got the Fred Williamson blaxploitation classic The Legend of Nigger Charley. I’m guessing it may have something to do with the title, but that one isn’t available from Netflix. Also in 1972, John Waters and Divine made their (skid)mark on the world with Pink Flamingos. And it was in 2000 that A Clockwork Orange was finally rereleased in the UK.

Now, just because it’s March 17th, most people don’t have a reason to fear the date. But in Malta, the only movie ever released on 3/17 was Mona Lisa Smile in 2003. In Macedonia it was The Pervert’s Guide to Cinema in 2007. Serbia’s only movie was Hitch in 2005. And Cyprus had to suffer Cheaper by the Dozen 2 in 2006. People in these countries, they fear going to the theater on March 17th.

I’ve only done a few of these ‘This Date’ posts, but by far my favorite part is browsing through the old movies and finding those with names that sound particularly dirty. Butt’s Manual, Saint John’s School (1904) and Mr. Jack is Caught in the Dressing Room (1904) both started production on March 17th. Released on this date were: An Aching Void (1911), His Double Treasure (1911), Love and Pain (1913), When a Woman Won’t (1913), Rough but Romantic (1915), A Pair of Skins (1916), Other Women’s Husbands (1926), Aching Youths (1928), Long Hose (1928), Business is a Pleasure (1934), and Dial ‘P’ for Pink (1965).

I think it’s safe to say that movies have become the art form of the masses. Walk up to a random person and try to talk about the most popular painting, play, sculpture, song, or book (religious texts aside), and you may have a hard time getting a conversation going. Talk about the most popular movie, and it seems hard to find someone that hasn’t seen it. If that’s true, wouldn’t it be a good idea to embrace that in education? Michael Pinto of Fanboy.com argues that indeed, Citizen Kane should be required viewing in school.

With the high regard and artistic value of Kane and the dominance of film/video in our daily lives, it’s hard to see how using the movie to educate kids as to what a movie should look like when everything comes together, as well as study of all the individual parts. When everyone is making their own videos, who couldn’t benefit from a little education on editing and composition? And with arts programs often the victims of school budget cuts, interjecting something of artistic merit can hardly be called a stupid idea.

My hope would be that exposing everyone to Citizen Kane early would create higher expectations of the movie industry and give prospective filmmakers a solid foundation. With the omnipresence of moving images in our lives, my motivation isn’t just personal, it’s for the betterment of society. There will always be contrarian crap like Disaster Movie, but maybe it would elevate the art form as a whole and prevent artistic depressions like the remake/sequel one we’re currently suffering.

First, the birthdays:

Milla Jovovich, the first lady of zombie movies, was born in Kiev, Ukraine in 1975

Giovanni Ribisi, whose father’s name is Gay, was born in 1974

Writer/director/producer/editor/cinematographer Gregg Araki was born in 1959

Rhode Island-obsessed director Peter Farrelly was born in 1956

Penthouse magazine founder Bob Guccione was born in 1930

Prolific supporting-actor Ernie Hudson was born in 1945

Cherokee actor Wes Studi was born in 1947

Bill Pullman, who is somehow often confused with Bill Paxton, was born in 1953

There were a slew of older movies released on this date that have especially dirty sounding names: The Taint (rereleased 1916); Making a Man (1922); When an Old Maid Gets Busy (1912); Liquid Love (1923); How to Dance the Shag (1937); and No Ifs, Ands or Butts (1954).

While those just sound dirty, there was one actual dirty movie released in 1972- Behind the Green Door. It was the first time a hardcore pornographic movie got a wide release in the US and kicked off the “Golden Age of Porn.” Emilio Estevez directed a movie about the movie’s producers Jim and Artie Mitchell, titled Rated X. Estevez and Charlie Sheen played the infamous Mitchell Brothers, a role for which Sheen had been preparing his whole life.

An adaptation of Harriet Beacher Stowe’s novel Uncle Tom’s Cabin was released in 1913. It was the seventh adaptation of the novel since 1903.

Disney’s always been keen on the whole money making thing and has never shied away from pimping out their old successes. Disney had rereleases of Fantasia (1969), Lady and the Tramp (1971), and Peter Pan (1982) hit theaters on December 17^th.

Diamonds are Forever (James Bond #7) was released in 1971. It was a box office success and features one of the greatest exchanges of dialog in movie history:

Plenty O’Toole: Hi, I’m Plenty.
James Bond: But of course you are.
Plenty O’Toole: Plenty O’Toole.
James Bond: Named after your father perhaps.

Legendary director John Huston had two movies released on this date: the classic adventure The Man Who Would Be King and his final movie, The Dead.

1982 saw the release of the greatest Muppet movie of all time- The Dark Crystal.

It’s been five years since The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King was released.

And on a final note, we’ll slip into the future. The Smurfs will finally hit the big screen with a release date of December 17^th, 2010 already carved out. Apparently it’s the first of an epic Smurf trilogy. I loved the hell out of the Smurfs when I was a kid and still have 50 or 60 of the little figures packed in a box somewhere. I’m just hoping they don’t smurf it up with toilet humor and pop culture crap.

Clue

A movie based on a board game sounds like something uninspired that’ll be aimed squarely at children. But the sole movie based on a modern board game flies squarely in the face of that. Clue is a very funny movie. It takes the basic premise of the the game and translates it into an entertaining little movie. The clever script and great cast (Tim Curry, Madeline Kahn, Christopher Lloyd, Leslie Ann Warren, Martin Mull, Michael McKean) create a slapstick spoof on the whodunit movie.

Searching For Bobby Fischer

How do you make a great movie? You take an accomplished, award-laden cast (Joe Montegna, Joan Allen, Ben Kingsley, Larry Fishburne, William H. Macy, Laura Linney), an award-winning writer/director (Steven Zaillian), a storied cinematographer (Conrad L. Hall), and base it on one of the world’s greatest board games- chess. The true story follows the life of chess prodigy Josh Waitzkin as he begins to learn competitive chess and struggles to maintain his values in the face of corrupting pressure from his father and teacher. Professional chess is an immensely complicated affair, but the story (from the book by Waitzkin’s father) makes the chess elements easily digestible and focuses primarily on the young Waitzkin’s quest to maintain his humanity and not become the maniacal chess machine that was Bobby Fischer. It’s a feel good movie that never has to resort to manipulative tricks to accomplish that feat.

The Seventh Seal

If there’s a list that includes movies about chess, The Seventh Seal must be included by default. The story centers on a knight (Max von Sydow) returning from the crusades. Upon his return, the knight discovers his homeland is ravaged by plague and finds Death waiting for him. But the knight desperately wants to go home and see his wife again, so he challenges Death to an epic game of chess to win a reprieve. The movie’s stark, haunting cinematography, foreign (to most people) language, and ruminations on life and death make this the poster child of “serious” “art house” movies, but the story of a man who has survived the horrors of war only to find himself trying to squirm out of death’s icy grip and return to his home is timeless.

Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey

And if there’s a list that contains The Seventh Seal, then that movie’s greatest parody must be included- Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. After Bill and Ted are killed by their evil robots selves, they initially escape Death by giving him a wedgie and running away. When they later find themselves in Hell, tormented by the Easter Bunny and Granny S. Preston, Esquire, the duo realize their only way out is to challenge Death to a contest. As Bill and Ted repeatedly win the games, Death continuously ups the ante (best 2 of 3, 3 of 5, 4 of 7) until the tandem has beaten him at Battleship, Clue, electric football, and finally, Twister. A defeated Death agrees to take them to the greatest scientist in the universe- a Martian named Station, in Heaven. The movie is totally ridiculous, but infinitely enjoyable.

Dungeons & Dragons

In the world of role-playing games, the story starts and stops with Dungeons & Dragons. Until the year 2000, the immensely popular game and it’s adventures had never made it to the big screen. D&D fans were no doubt beside themselves with joy upon hearing of the movie’s release. They were no doubt disgusted after seeing the end result- a sloppy, poorly made fantasy “adventure” (aren’t adventures supposed to be exciting?) with no real ties to D&D mythology, save the title. Jeremy Irons phones in his performance and Justin Whalin and Marlon Wayans are overmatched by the… well, everything. You could’ve looked at this as being a movie aimed at a narrow niche audience, but the next year The Lord of the Rings proved that fantasy is for everyone. If you ever get an inkling that you should watch Dungeons & Dragons, I’d advise you to just go read the latest copy of the Monster Manual. Learning the subtle differences in various goblinoid races is way, way more interesting.

• David Schwimmer, maybe the most musically talented guy on “Friends,” was born in 1966
• Samuel Le Bihan was born in 1965 and went on to show that French guys can kick ass in Brotherhood of the Wolf
• Burt Lancaster was born in 1913 and had a pretty good movie career for a circus performer
• Producer Hal Roach, who has more than 1,100 producing credits on imdb, passed away in 1992
• Irwin Allen, best known for producing big-budget disaster movies like The Poseidon Adventure and The Towering Inferno, died in 1991
• Pier Paolo Pasolini, who directed Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom, which might be the most controversial movie ever made, was murdered in 1975

The Professionals was released in 1966. Not only is it a great movie, but it might also feature one of the greatest collections of talent ever assembled for a Western: written and directed by Richard Brooks; starring Burt Lancaster, Lee Marvin, Robert Ryan, Woody Strode, Jack Palance, Claudia Cardinale, and Ralph Bellamy; cinematography by Conrad L. Hall; William A. Fraker was the camera operator; and music by Maurice Jarre.

The second of The Who’s rock operas, Quadrophenia, saw the film version released in 1979, featuring Sting’s big screen debut.

The Cambodian genocide, where as much as a third of the population were killed, was the subject of the critically acclaimed The Killing Fields, released in 1984.

As further proof that no one likes opening a movie on Halloween Fridays, the top five opening weekends ending on November 2^nd are: Red Corner ($7,403,362), Boogie Nights ($4,681,934), Switchback ($2,704,568), The Human Stain ($1,034,195), and the 2003 limited release of the director’s cut of Alien ($1,023,665).

Let’s start with the birthdays:

• Matt Damon, the most peculiar choice for People’s Sexiest Man Alive, was born in 1970
• Peter Greene, who has made a solid career out of smaller bad guy roles, took his first breath in 1965
• Paul Hogan, who became the symbol of Australia for an entire generation in Crocodile Dundee, first said G’day Mate in 1939
• Cornelius Crane Chase first realized he was Chevy Chase and you’re not in 1943
• Three-time Oscar nominee Sigourney Weaver, who’s 50-year old cleavage was on prominent display in Galaxy Quest, was born in 1949
• Michael Dudikoff, the most famous American ninja ever, had yet to make a bad movie in 1954

The pre-2000 movie with the highest grossing opening weekend ending on October 8^th was 1984′s Teachers. Nick Nolte starred as a teacher doing all he can to reach his students. He headed a pretty good cast, notably: Morgan Freeman, Laura Dern, Crispin Glover, Richard Mulligan, Ralph Macchio, JoBeth Williams, and Judd Hirsch. It was directed by Arthur Hiller, who would go on to destroy the Alan Smithee legacy with An Alan Smithee Film: Burn Hollywood Burn.

Ozzie and Harriett Nelson were married on this day in 1935. Sure they made a few movies and had the longest running live-action sitcom in history, but their biggest contribution to movies was giving birth to Ricky Nelson, who would star along side John Wayne and Dean Martin in one of the greatest Westerns ever made- Rio Bravo.

The Color of Money premiered on this date in 1986, starring Tom Cruise and the late (it feels weird writing that) Paul Newman. Newman won his only Best Actor Oscar for his reprisal of the character “Fast Eddie” Felson, who he originally played in The Hustler.

Paul Thomas Anderson- one of my favorite directors- had two movies make their US premieres, Boogie Nights- one of my favorite movies- in 1997 and Punch-Drunk Love- my favorite movie with a pudding subplot- in 2002.

Q, a solid R-rated movie, made it’s US premiere on this date in 1982. I’ll always remember this movie because my sister and I watched it with our babysitter- the first and last time my parents got a guy babysitter. I think I was six or maybe seven and my sister was five. But I’m not saying that to rag on dudes for being irresponsible, about a year later of one of our girl babysitters inadvertently let us watch the first few minutes of A Clockwork Orange.

Other notable movies:

• Franco Zeffirelli’s Romeo and Juliet was released in 1968 with the hopes of winning every award conceivable
• The quintessential running movie, wherein the main character is in a constant state of quickly moving from scene to scene, and very cringe-worthy Marathon Man was released in 1976
• Superstar introduced the world to amazing dance moves like The Fax Machine and The Pepper Mill in 1999
• John Boorman’s critically successful Hope and Glory, a semi-autobiographical movie about growing up in London during World War II, made it’s West German debut in 1987. There isn’t any information on an East German release

Saturday morning I turned on the TV and Biker Mice from Mars happened to be on. I’d never heard of it before, but it was almost over and kind of odd, so I watched the end. The Biker Mice and their mechanic, Charley Davidson, had just defeated Renaldo Rump, a big-bottomed version of Donald Trump, and his partner in crime Cataclysm, surprisingly voiced by the ominous Clancy Brown, who apparently also voices Mr. Krabs on Spongebob Squarepants. As Rump (referred to by the Biker Mice as Rumproast) and Cataclysm were slinking off into the sunset, Rump says, “You know Cataclysm, I think that this may be the start of a lousy friendship,” mirroring the scene at the end of Casablanca where Rick and Captain Renault walk off into the distance and Rick says, “Louis, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

Here in this weird cartoon with human-sized mice riding motorcycles and a character with a giant butt, there was a reference to Casablanca that was just there to be unappreciated by kids when they woke up on Saturday morning.

After the critical and financial flop that was Dune, David Lynch dialed things down for 1986′s Blue Velvet. It was a more personal movie- you know, involving a small town, violence, sex, and violent sex. Jeffrey Beaumont (Kyle MacLachlan) finds a severed ear and, after notifying the police, can’t resist the urge to launch his own investigation. His journey leads him to Dorothy Vallens (Isabella Rossellini) and the man who kidnapped her husband and son to force her to have sex with him, Frank Booth (Dennis Hopper). The movie earned Lynch his second Best Director nomination and put Hopper back in the public conscious.

L.A. Confidential was released on this date in 1997. The tale of police corruption and Hollywood celebrities was adored by the critics, nominated for nine Academy Awards. The movie found an audience, too, pulling in over $125 million. Unless you saw The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, it was probably the first time most Americans saw Guy Pearce, and was the first time Russell Crowe got to flex his acting muscles in Hollywood. One of life’s greatest mysteries is how Kim Basinger wins Best Supporting Actress and neither Crowe nor Pearce gets nominated.

Let’s hop a ride in the way-back machine, all the way to 1931. That’s the year the Marx Brothers’ Monkey Business was released. The brothers, including straight-man Zeppo, stow away on a ship to America and inadvertently get recruited by gangsters. A simple plot fleshed out by innumerable jokes, puns, and sight gags. It’s classic Marx Brothers zany irreverence that’s just as funny today. Actress Thelma Todd, whose suspicious death is seen by some as one of Hollywood’s darker conspiracies, played the female lead.

In some people’s eyes, Martin Scorsese’s star had faded a little prior to 1990, but then Goodfellas was released and it cemented his reputation as one of cinema’s greatest directors. It’s based on the book “Wiseguy,” the true story of mafioso-turned-informant-turned-celebrity Henry Hill, who was kicked out of the witness protection program for telling everyone that the movie was about him. The violent, vulgar mob story was nominated for six Academy Awards and regularly makes it’s way on “best ever” lists, ranking #1 or 2 on “gangster” movie lists. Joe Pesci’s performance as Tommy DeVito was the only Academy Award win for the movie.

At first it might seem out of place to find Blue Streak on this list, but classic and award-winning movies don’t have a stranglehold on the date. Backed my Martin Lawrence’s trademark over-the-top style, Blue Streak lays claim to having the biggest opening weekend to end on September 19^th, with a three day total of $19,208,806. An ex-con wants to recover a diamond he stole years before, but nothing’s as easy as it sounds. He gets mistaken for a cop and has to cover the ruse by impressing all the detectives with his unorthodox-but-effective techniques while trying to get his hands on the stone. Sure it’s a formulaic buddy comedy, but Martin is one of the most charismatic comedians you’re ever going to see.

The Night of the Hunter

Charles Laughton was a very well respected actor of stage and screen, but in 1955 he decided to give directing a shot. What we got was The Night of the Hunter, one of the most unique movies of the 50′s, and Laughton’s only directorial effort. It tells the story of two children who are terrorized by the maniacal self-ordained preacher Harry Powell (Robert Mitchum). Before being killed before their eyes, the children’s father entrusts them with the location of money he stole. Powell knows the children know the location of the money, and he does all he can to get it form them, including marrying and murdering their mother. The movie still holds up very well today, but when viewed in the context of being released in 1955, it’s not hard to see why it got such a tepid reception- there weren’t a lot of expressionistic, perverse, violent movies featuring children at that time. The movie has garnered more respect over the years and is now viewed as an influential classic.

Play Misty for Me

Clint Eastwood is a bonafide Hollywood legend. He still acts, but he’s getting most of his praise nowadays for his deft directing. The first time he got behind the camera was for Play Misty for Me. It tells the story of radio disc jockey Dave Garver (Eastwood) and obsessed fan Evelyn Draper, who always calls in asking him to play the song “Misty.” Unaware of her obsession, Dave meets her in a bar and a one night stand ensues. Rather than satiating Evelyn’s desire, she begins stalking Garver, eventually trying to tear his life apart. It’s notable for featuring a psychotic female antagonist, which, while commonplace today, was unusual at the time. It was later ripped off under the moniker Fatal Attraction.

Frailty

Bill Paxton has had a prolific career as an actor, working in everything from personal independent movies to overwrought Hollywood blockbusters. The first time he scratched the directing itch was for Frailty. Fenton Meiks walks into a Texas FBI office and confesses his brother is the God’s Hand serial killer. He then tells the story of his family’s murderous history and how they’ve been doing God’s work- disposing of the demons (evil people) living among us. Murder committed in the name of God is an interesting subject to tackle for an actor not known for being very controversial. It’s a very well made movie that didn’t initially get much recognition, but has developed somewhat of a cult following. This was the only movie I ever saw by myself at the theater, as the subject didn’t really interest anyone. I saw it on the opening weekend and there were two other people in the theater when the movie started. I was all alone before the credits rolled.

Sling Blade

Billy Bob Thornton had carved out a nice little career for himself as a character actor, always hanging out in the background and popping up and getting noticed every once in a while. In 1996 he directed and starred in Sling Blade, the tale of a mentally challenged man who is more full of love and understanding that anyone could guess. After he’s released from the mental hospital to which he was sentenced for murdering his mother and her lover when he was twelve, Karl Tilders (Thornton) befriends a young boy and his mother, eventually leading to a confrontation with the mother’s abusive boyfriend (Dwight Yoakam). The movie is universally praised for it’s acting, in particular Thornton and Yoakam, but it’s Thornton steady, reassuring direction that allows the performances to flourish.

Ordinary People

Robert Redford was one of Hollywood’s great leading men. He made his directorial debut with Ordinary People, a movie about a well-to-do family trying to deal with life in the wake of the oldest son’s death. The movie was a financial and critical success, winning the Academy Awards for Best Picture, Director, Adapted Screenplay, and Supporting Actor. Mary Tyler Moore‘s performance as the cold, facade-wearing mother gained particular attention as it was her first big departure from comedy.