Battleship Movie Heads To Drydock

battleshipIt’s been, golly, like a couple weeks since any news of a board game movie has surfaced. I hoped that people finally realized what stupid ideas these movies were and quietly axed them all. Yeah, it was naive of me to think that.

Hasbro finally broke the board game radio silence, announcing they’re getting close to convincing Peter Berg to direct the movie adaptation of Battleship. Obviously, since there is no plot in the game, details on a possible story are nonexistent, unless saying they’ve going for an epic naval action adventure-y type of movie counts as plot details.

Berg is a passable enough director, but it’s going to take a hell of a [...]

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Why Would Anyone Want To Remake Videodrome?

videodromeSometimes you just shake your head in disgust and ask yourself what the world is coming to. For many people, that may have happened when they first saw Videodrome. For me, it happened when I read that Universal is remaking Videodrome.

The movie, well I guess I should say the original Videodrome, was about sleazy TV producer Max Renn, always on the lookout for some new trash to feed his audience. He thinks he’s found the program of his dreams when he’s introduced to Videodrome. Torture, murder, no plot. It’s got it all. And best of all, it looks so real. Max becomes obsessed with Videodrome and he soon learns his recent hallucinations are [...]

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The Topper Remake Illustrates Why I Hate Remakes So Very Much

topperThe first Topper movie was made in 1937 and starred Cary Grant as a ghost who, along with his ghost wife, decides that in their recently deceased state, what they need to do is loosen up Cosmo Topper and get him to bust out of the staid mold his wife has forced on him. It was a big financial success and even got nominated for a couple Academy Awards. It solidified Grant’s comedy career and inspired a couple sequels and a couple TV iterations. It sounds like a great movie for a remake, doesn’t it? Once popular and pretty much forgotten, but probably has enough name recognition to attract an audience.

So it should be [...]

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More Mattel Madness: Major Matt Mason

major-matt-masonHaving not grown up in the 1960′s, I’ve never heard of Major Matt Mason and would never have assumed it was a beloved action figure along the lines of the original G.I. Joe. Major Mason was an astronaut who lived and worked on the moon, first appearing in 1966, just in time to capitalize on the Space Race frenzy.

Mattel is pulling the old Mason doll out of the bottom of their toy chest, developing it into a movie as a vehicle for Tom Hanks. I’m sure Hanks would fondly remember playing with his Major Matt Mason doll seeing as he brought one along to a development meeting, but I’m wondering why Mattel would make [...]

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MacGyver Was A Silly TV Show, Now It’s A Silly Movie

Wiktionary defines MacGyver as:

To assemble, or cause to be repaired or completed, an object, device, machine, or project from duct tape as the preferred repair tool, but in its absence, other items, (normally common, ordinary and mundane such as a rubber band or paper clip), not normally used for that purpose, where others would assume one needs a manufactured part, as per the design. Especially: if the items are used in ways significantly different than their intended use.

macgyver-kitEven if you never saw MacGyver, there’s little doubt you know all about the premise about a secret agent who was so resourceful he could literally make anything out of anything. I believe he [...]

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No One Knows What To Do With These Board Game Movies

cant-believe-thisWith a deluge of board game movies in pre-production, and more announced damn near every day, you’d think Hasbro (who seems to be behind all of these things) would have some plan, some formula to get these things on the big screen. It seems like they’re just randomly selecting a property and throwing it out there with a pile of money, giving the project to whomever trips over it. But really, they’ve got to have some plan, right?

MTV was able to get the scoop on a couple of these movies and it seems, just like we may ponder about how the hell it could translate into a movie, the filmmakers haven’t a clue either.

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