Weekend Predictions: 05-29-09

So far this year, the biggest overall weekend at the box office was back on January 16 when Paul Blart: Mall Cop took the world by storm. The total spent on movies that weekend was $192,903,837. There’s a chance this weekend could top that.

Up is the widest release this weekend, in 3,766 theaters. It’s also the tenth feature put out by Pixar, and their name has basically become the gold standard in computer animation. And they’re really trying to make a point that their name is bigger than the subject of whatever movie they put forth. Cars was about a car that got arrested and had to repave a road, Ratatouille was about a rat that wanted to be a chef, and WALL-E [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-22-09

The combination of a scifi action movie, a family movie, and a comedy has been pretty popular with Hollywood. So far this year we’ve seen the combination on February 6th, May 1st, and April 10th. Oh, and again this weekend.

Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian plays the role of the family movie. The difference between this movie and the original is that it takes place in SURPRISE! the Smithsonian. Other than giving the museum more advertising than it’s ever had during it’s entire existence, I suppose all it really means is that there will be different exhibits to rankle Ben Stiller’s character, which is probably all people really want out of the movie: Ben Stiller overacting.

The first Night at the [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-15-09

You’d think that Hollywood studios are always competing against each other, but this month’s evidence shows that it’s really a coordinated dance. The big movie season kicked off with X-Men Origins: Wolverine on May 1st. That was a Fox release. The only new competition that weekend was from Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Warner Bros.), which aimed for a totally different audience than Wolverine. The next weekend Paramount released Star Trek, the only other new wide release was a tiny comedy from tiny distributor Summit Entertainment. This weekend Sony is releasing Angels & Demons, the only wide release. Next weekend has Paramount releasing a comedy, Fox a family movie, and Warner Bros. a big scifi actioner. The last week of May brings a Disney animated [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-08-09

Though we’re still six weeks from the start of Summer, the Summer movie season is well under way. The latest contender for biggest movie o’ the year is Star Trek.

captain-kirkWithout knowing much about the movie, you can tell by the fact there’s no subtitle that this is a do-over rather than any kind of a sequel. They’re taking Captain Kirk and the gang all the way back to the Starfleet Academy and making you forget everything you know about Star Trek. Those old farts just weren’t relevant to today’s sensibilities. It needs more special effects, more monsters, more sex, more dramatic camera angles, more contrast, more things whizzing past the camera, etc. And it’s [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 05-01-09

X-Men Origins: Wolverine is going to kickoff a string of big weekends at the movies. Until the middle of June there will be one movie a week that’s going to be aiming for $50+ million. But this May 1st weekend will be one of the most interesting.

When the all but finished print of Wolverine was leaked at the beginning of the month, it set the stage for us to get a real test of how much piracy impacts ticket sales. Despite all the bitching and moaning by Hollywood and the FBI and X-Men fanboys, research is showing that interest in the movie is actually increasing after the calamitous leak. Isn’t there some old saying about there not being any such thing as bad [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-24-09

Let’s say you were traveling through time. It’s one of those situations where you just kind of slip into a new time period, not sure where you’ve ended up. You ask the first person you see to tell you the date. Now this person, they’re a bit of a smartass and instead of giving you a straight answer, they give you a couple clues. So rather than just being decent and telling you the date, they tell you this: “Today is the day these three movies were released: One is about underground street fighting competitions. Another is an erotic thriller. And the third is a heartwarming musical biopic.”

Instead of popping this smartass upside the head like they deserve, you sit down and you [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-17-09

The new ideas, they keep on rolling out of Hollywood. Take this weekend for instance. An adult mysteriously turns back into a teenager. A political thriller guaranteeing a bunch of twists. A sequel to a mindless action movie. Nope, never heard of any of those before.

17 Again wouldn’t amount to nothing if folks of the female persuasion didn’t fall all over themselves to see Zac Efron. Seriously, the people-changing-ages-and-learning-a-valuable-life-lesson genre is as played out as any and putting Matthew Perry’s name on a movie means about pretty much near nothing. So this thing is going to rely on the guy from High School Musical. And most likely, it’ll do just fine. I’m going to float a guess of $26,270,805.

The second biggest release [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-10-09

To celebrate Easter this weekend, Hollywood is giving us three new family movies, if, that is, kids can drag their parents to see Hannah Montana, parents can drag their kids along to see Observe and Report, or anyone at all wants to see Dragonball Evolution.

Hannah Montana the Movie is the biggest release this weekend, being crammed into 3,118 theaters. Last year, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (which might win the contest for most descriptive title ever) set the record for the highest per theater average for a wide release in the history of the world, a totally asinine $45,561 per theater on the opening weekend. However this time around, the hype isn’t near as big and the movie isn’t [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-03-09

This weekend’s new releases are a study in contrasts. One is the latest installment in a high-profile series, the other meets nearly any definition of an independent movie.

Fast & Furious is going back to it’s roots in the fourth installment. It reunites all the people who have gone on to bigger things since the first movie with those who couldn’t hack it without Vin Diesel headlining the movie. And they’ve gone and tightened up the title. All those repetitive definite articles in the title were just grammatically ugly and annoying. Dropping the The’s makes everything much better and just gets to the point. Finally, I can really understand what these movies are about. Now I see why Jane Austen didn’t go with The [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 03-27-09

It looks like March is going to go out the same way it came in- with a big blockbuster movie.

Monsters vs. Aliens will be the recipient of all the love this weekend. The hype has been building for months, peaking with the flashback-inducing Super Bowl commercial. It probably would have helped if I had a pair of the 3D glasses to watch it, but spending a few minutes back in 1986 wasn’t so bad. You know how porn movies will take the title of a legitimate movie and make sound dirty, like Forrest Hump or Teenage Mutant Ninja Dildos? I think this movie is starting that trend in kid’s movies, obviously taking it’s title from Alien vs. Predator. But there’s a good chance [...]

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