Weekend Report: The Fastest, Most Furious April Weekend Ever

fast-and-furiousWho knew that dropping those pesky definite articles would be such a good idea? Fast & Furious made every other movie that has ever come out in the month of April look like an idiot, finishing the weekend with $70,950,500. Needless to say, it also made me look like an idiot for predicting $40,297,220. The previous king of April was Anger Management, nearly $30 million below the new mark set by Fast & Furious.

I thought The Fast and The Furious was a one-off movie with an idea abused for a couple who-gives-a-shit sequels, an idea- people race cars, oh and they’re criminals- that has been fairly well played out. I mean, they just ripped off Point Break and changed the surfboards to cars. They even went to the trouble to cast Paul Walker, an actor as inexpressive and disinterested as Keanu Reeves. But obviously Fast & Furious hadn’t even had it’s welcome, let alone worn it out. I guess there wasn’t much competition, with Monsters vs. Aliens the only other movie to crack $10 million, but for real, $71 million? In a world where Paul Blart can make over $140 million, no, I guess it’s really not a surprise.

Despite everyone colluding to make you think Adventureland was Superbad part 2, the movie only hauled in $6,253,507, $3 million-ish short of my prediction. Wait. If they were trying to push the movie as Superbad 2 and no one went to see it, maybe things worked out exactly like they should have. Perhaps they ought to have advertised that Adventureland had no connections, Kevin Bacon-y or otherwise, to Superbad. Or maybe they just shouldn’t have relied on namedropping Superbad and casting the chick from Twilight.

For being the movie that was supposed to change the world, blow our minds, and remove the carcinogens from cigarettes, Watchmen really crapped the bed. Five weeks in and it’s already under $1,000 per theater for the weekend. After 10 weeks Taken is still over $1,100, and it didn’t have near the fanfare or budget or fan base that Watchmen did. It would be one thing if Watchmen had a $19 million budget like Friday the 13th, but the budget was $150 million, a number it’s not going to make back during the theatrical run. That’s pretty bad. That’s like killing comic book movies bad. Maybe this Watchmen movie wasn’t so bad after all.

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