Weekend Report: Hannah Montana Not As Popular As Jesus

miley-cyrus-winkWith this past Sunday being Easter, it finally provided the ultimate showdown we’ve all been waiting for: Hannah Montana versus Jesus. You’d think that if The Beatles were more popular than Jesus, well Hannah Montana was a shoe-in. As it turns out, God’s kid is still more popular than Disney’s.

Hannah Montana the Movie got off to a relatively big $17.5 million Friday, but by Sunday had dropped to a scant $4.5 million, a drop so precipitous that it takes the record for the most front-loaded opening weekend away from Twilight. I’m not exactly sure what comment this makes about the world or movies, but having the two most front-loaded movies in history occur this [...]

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Entertainment Weekly Wouldn’t Know Cool If It Bit Them In The Ass

Merriam-Webster defines the slang form of the word cool as:

very good: excellent; also: all right

Using this as a guideline, Entertainment Weekly tried to create a list of the 20 All-Time Coolest Heroes in Pop Culture. In descending order they are:

20. Sydney Bristow

19. Atticus Finch

18. Batman

17. Nancy Drew

16. Jack Bauer

15. Dirty Harry

14. Will Kane

13. Foxy Brown

12. Captain James T. Kirk

11. Mad Max

10. Spider-Man

9. Robin Hood

8. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

7. Han Solo

6. John McClane

5. [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-10-09

To celebrate Easter this weekend, Hollywood is giving us three new family movies, if, that is, kids can drag their parents to see Hannah Montana, parents can drag their kids along to see Observe and Report, or anyone at all wants to see Dragonball Evolution.

Hannah Montana the Movie is the biggest release this weekend, being crammed into 3,118 theaters. Last year, Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour (which might win the contest for most descriptive title ever) set the record for the highest per theater average for a wide release in the history of the world, a totally asinine $45,561 per theater on the opening weekend. However this time around, the hype isn’t near as big and the movie isn’t [...]

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Will Your Favorite Movie Be Better In 3D?

3d-conversionIf you hadn’t yet noticed, 3D is coming back to movies in a big way. Every week or two a new release makes it’s way into a few 3D theaters. By most accounts, or at least box office receipts, people seem to enjoy the 3D thing so Hollywood is going to push it until it’s all pushed out. Because you know, it’s easier to get people to spend more money on movies by making them look spiffier than actually trying to make better movies.

The problem Hollywood has is that not every movie is financially appropriate for 3D. Using Monster vs. Aliens (the biggest digital 3D release to date) as a case study, if you’ve [...]

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The Topper Remake Illustrates Why I Hate Remakes So Very Much

topperThe first Topper movie was made in 1937 and starred Cary Grant as a ghost who, along with his ghost wife, decides that in their recently deceased state, what they need to do is loosen up Cosmo Topper and get him to bust out of the staid mold his wife has forced on him. It was a big financial success and even got nominated for a couple Academy Awards. It solidified Grant’s comedy career and inspired a couple sequels and a couple TV iterations. It sounds like a great movie for a remake, doesn’t it? Once popular and pretty much forgotten, but probably has enough name recognition to attract an audience.

So it should be [...]

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Weekend Report: The Fastest, Most Furious April Weekend Ever

fast-and-furiousWho knew that dropping those pesky definite articles would be such a good idea? Fast & Furious made every other movie that has ever come out in the month of April look like an idiot, finishing the weekend with $70,950,500. Needless to say, it also made me look like an idiot for predicting $40,297,220. The previous king of April was Anger Management, nearly $30 million below the new mark set by Fast & Furious.

I thought The Fast and The Furious was a one-off movie with an idea abused for a couple who-gives-a-shit sequels, an idea- people race cars, oh and they’re criminals- that has been fairly well played out. I mean, they just ripped [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 04-03-09

This weekend’s new releases are a study in contrasts. One is the latest installment in a high-profile series, the other meets nearly any definition of an independent movie.

Fast & Furious is going back to it’s roots in the fourth installment. It reunites all the people who have gone on to bigger things since the first movie with those who couldn’t hack it without Vin Diesel headlining the movie. And they’ve gone and tightened up the title. All those repetitive definite articles in the title were just grammatically ugly and annoying. Dropping the The’s makes everything much better and just gets to the point. Finally, I can really understand what these movies are about. Now I see why Jane Austen didn’t go with The [...]

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