Weekend Report: The Rock Introduces Watchmen To The People’s Armpit

watchmen-sadWell, it appears Watchmen was just a one weekend wonder, dropping off nearly 70% in it’s second weekend. It’s certainly not what the studio wanted, but probably one of the possible outcomes they foresaw, albeit one they didn’t take too seriously or they wouldn’t have invested such a huge chunk of money in the movie. Even if Watchmen will never be called a success and will cause studios to think twice before blowing hundreds of millions on a fairly obscure comic book adaptation, the real casualties here are the expectations of moviegoers that have been building for nearly a year. Despite Watchmen getting decent reviews, it sure ain’t setting the world on fire.

While Watchmen was having a bad weekend, my predictions were doing pretty well for a change. Race to Witch Mountain ended the weekend in first place with $24,402,214. I predicted $28,731,226, and since I’ve been off tens of millions in the past few weeks, I’m calling it a major victory. The Rock proves once again that if you take a physically imposing actor and team him up with some kids, people will eat that shit up. The guy could just turn one of these out every couple of years and keep his progeny knee deep sports cars and models for years.

I should refer to The Last House on the Left as the remake which shall not be named, but there’s so damn many of them that you’d be clueless as to what movie I’m talking about. Last House wound up in third place with $14,118,615, a scant $1.3 million below my prediction. Right now I’m patting myself on the back for a near bulls-eye. Since this movie had relatively tiny costs, $14 million probably means it’s already made a ton of money and has people thinking about sequels and franchises and making Krug masks for Halloween.

Bringing up the rear (and looking suspiciously like something that may exit the rear) is Miss March. I over shot the box office by about $4 million, but it’s just not fair to a movie to predict that it’ll only make $2,409,156, regardless of whether or not  it deserves it. Even if you only take Rotten Tomatoes  scores with a grain of salt, this thing only rates 5% fresh. By any standards, that’s just bad.

Friday the 13th continued it’s descent into obscurity, managing a ludicrous $595,165 in it’s fifth week. Taken continues to refuse to quit, dropping only 10% from last week with $6,568,651 in it’s seventh week. After nine weeks, it sounds crazy and stupid and just patently unbelievable, but Paul Blart was in seventh place. The movie has made nearly $140 million. What kind of bizzaro world are we living in?

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