Oh Boy, The Bodyguard Remake?

It’s supposed to be a secret, but it’s really not. There is obviously some clandestine element in Hollywood that is trying to undermine the film industry. How else can you explain Marley and Me and Paul Blart accounting for $280 million at the box office. Really, there’s no other explanation. And if you can come up with one, then you’re probably one of them.

The main plot this nefarious group of heartless jackals is involved in is to remake every single movie that’s ever been made. It wouldn’t be so obvious if they spaced them out further, but when there’s one released nearly every week, it’s just too conspicuous. I think they’re about halfway through with the horror movies.

The latest news in the campaign to destroy any emotional attachment people may feel towards movies is that The Bodyguard needs a remake. The story of romance and personal security just isn’t relevant to today’s audience. Sure it was the seventh biggest movie of 1992, but that just makes it s bigger target.

The remake will reportedly be a “young and sexy take” on the movie. Whitney Houston has enough problems, did they really need to say that even 17 years ago she was old and unattractive?

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