The Ruins Ruined A Perfectly Good Hour And A Half

I saw this movie about a group of college-aged Americans on vacation in a remote foreign locale who meet some Europeans who are also vacationing and some of these people are killed by an evil entity this is protected and/or fueled by the locals. Did I see A) Turistas, B) Hostel, C) Hostel Part II, D) The Ruins, or E) some other generic horror movie that follows the same formula. If you’ve been following since the title, you probably guessed The Ruins. And I’d say you’re probably right, but I can’t say for sure since these movies all kind of blend together into a haze of blood, stupidity, and vivisection.

the-ruins-templeWhat sets The Ruins apart [...]

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Weekend Report: Clint Calls Box Office A Punk, Makes His Day

clint-eastwoodYou’ve got to hand it to Clint Eastwood. Really, you do. How many 78-year old directors could cast themselves to play a curmudgeony racist and crack $10,000 per theater in wide release? That list has to be small. That list might only include Clint Eastwood.

I thought Gran Torino would slide in at second place for the weekend at about $15-17 million. Instead Torino whooped up on everything else, pulled in $29,484,388, and sits at number one. This was easily the biggest weekend for any movie that’s had Eastwood’s name attached. Space Cowboys, which he also directed and starred in, is a distant second at $18 million. The fact that some are saying this is [...]

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Is Aaron Eckhart As Two-Faced As His Character?

two-face-hospitalBack in September, Aaron Eckhart was unequivocal in his statement that Harvey Dent/Two-Face would not be returning for a sequel to The Dark Knight. He said the character was “dead as a doornail” and “ain’t coming back.”

Either Eckhart spoke too soon (even thought he did consult director Christopher Nolan) or he is as two-faced as his character because he’s changing his tune. He parallels the character’s status with that of it’s onscreen counterpart- not dead, but in a coma. Maybe he’ll pull through, maybe he won’t.

I’ve never had much interest in comics or superheroes, but I liked The Dark Knight well enough. Heath Ledger’s performance as the Joker was outstanding. The story was [...]

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Golden Globes Still An Irrelevant Dinner Party

Every year the Hollywood Foreign Press Association likes to invite a bunch of celebrities over so the world can watch a bunch of famous people get drunk and pal around. They have celebrities that generally have no reason to be at an awards show present awards to the other celebrities. It’s like a class reunion were only the people that were cool in high school show up and give each other awards for how cool they were.

Now, the Golden Globes aren’t really that much different from any awards show, outside of it being more of an awards dinner. Few of the nominations are based on merit, and fewer so the winners. That’s how a lot of awards programs go, but the HFPA has [...]

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Bride Wars Fallout Begins, Anne Hathaway Stripped Of Golden Globe

anne-hathaway-ghostSure the Golden Globe Award winners won’t be announced until the broadcast on Sunday. We shouldn’t really know the winners until then, but the Hollywood Foreign Press Association may have let one slip.

Yesterday a spiffy gold star popped up next to Anne Hathaway’s name on the Golden Globe nominees website, indicating she had won the award. It was a gaffe, but as long as they didn’t reveal all the winners, people will still watch.

Shortly after the generally abhorred Bride Wars began screening, the star next to Hathaway’s name disappeared. The HFPA won’t comment on the star, but the obvious connection is that Hathaway had won the award for Best Performance by an Actress [...]

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Weekend Predictions: 01-09-09

the-unborn-posterFinally, some new releases for 2009. Since we’re now out of award qualification season, we’ll start to see more crappy movies as the studios dump them into the toilet bowl that is January. The two biggest new releases this weekend are Bride Wars and The Unborn. Please, whatever you do, go see something else. See Marley and Me again. Watch clouds pass by. Just don’t see either of these two movies- your brains cells will be better for it.

Check out all the details on the spreadsheet.

Two women, best friends, are getting married. They’ll be each other’s maids of honor. They’ve both booked their dream venue, The Plaza Hotel. But by some fluke their [...]

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If Citizen Kane Was Required Viewing In School, Would The World Be A Better Place?

citizen-kaneCitizen Kane is most often cited as the greatest movie ever made. There’s really no point in arguing that because everything about it is superlative. The acting and direction are perfect. The cinematography and staging are breathtaking. Some will argue for other movies, but Kane is flawless. If I were forced to make one concession, it would be that Casablanca’s script was better. Maybe.

I think it’s safe to say that movies have become the art form of the masses. Walk up to a random person and try to talk about the most popular painting, play, sculpture, song, or book (religious texts aside), and you may have a hard time getting a conversation going. Talk [...]

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The Expendables Gets Better

sylvester-stallone-punchI previously posed that Sylvester Stallone’s The Expendables might be the greatest movie ever made. With every tidbit of news that seeps out about the movie, that idea moves from postulate to fact.

The latest news on the greatest movie is that Mickey Rourke is joining the cast. He’ll play an arms dealer that outfits the mercenaries in their attempt to overthrow a South American dictator. Rourke will join Stallone, Dolph Lundgren, Jet Li, Jason Statham, and Randy Couture, with Forest Whitaker and Sir Ben Kingsley also contemplating roles.

The buzz surrounding Rourke’s performance in The Wrestler couldn’t have hurt, but Stallone and Rourke have been on good terms since Get Carter, Rourke’s return to [...]

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Public Domain Movie Of The Week: The Cabinet Of Dr. Caligari

dr-caligari-peekingThe Cabinet of Dr. Caligari, or of you want to impress your friends with your fluency in German- Das Cabinet des Dr. Caligari, is often considered to be the first horror movie ever made. It’s debatable as to what the first horror movie actually is, or what constitutes horror for that matter, but most people give it to Caligari. But any debate on that is pretty irrelevant because Dr. Caligari is one heck of a movie.

Told mostly in flashback, the story centers on the evil Dr. Caligari. He travels the countryside wowing people with the predictions of his psychic somnambulist. During one of his shows at a local fair, a man asks the somnambulist [...]

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Did Mike Meyers Make The Worst Movie Of 2008?

Up until a few years ago, I always felt compelled to finish watching a movie once I started. I think it’s most likely that I’ve always thought that even if a movie doesn’t entertain, at least I could learn what makes a movie bad. I’m not sure if I’ve just seen enough movies that I get bored easily or that I’ve finally realized I won’t be around forever and value my remaining time way too much, but if I can’t find a reason to keep watching a movie past the first act, I’m done.

the-love-guruOne of the most recent victims of my new philosophy was The Love Guru. And I couldn’t even give that pile [...]

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