5 Animated Characters I Wish Never Existed

So, I don’t just hate actors and actresses. This motley crew of animated jerks can throw me into a vitriolic rant as easily as any living person. The worst thing about these characters is that I first saw some of them when I was a little kid and they will account for some of the oldest movie memories I’ll ever have. Without further ado, by request, here are 5 animated characters I can’t stand.

I hate Simba. It doesn’t have anything to do with The Lion King. Although he picked up some bad habits from Timon and Pumba, there wasn’t anything to get too upset about. Mrs. Furious is a Disney fan, so at some point someone bought her the Wonderful World of Disney Trivia Game. Not to miss a chance to push their product, Disney filled the game with questions about their latest animated movie- The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride. It was like the answer to every other question was The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride or the question started with “In The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride…” I heard The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride so many times that I eventually had to vow to never play the game again, much to Mrs. Furious’ chagrin. Now every time I hear The Lion King II: Simba’s Pride I wish for a Lion King 3 featuring a wildebeest stampede wherein Simba is trampled flat, just like Mufasa.

I don’t remember when I first saw Lady and the Tramp, but can’t say I really thought enough of the movie to remember much. EXCEPT FOR THE SIAMESE CATS. Those two abominations and their nightmare inducing song totally freaked me out. Still to this day, I can’t look at Siamese cat without hearing that song. And I’m not the only one that developed a complex. To my knowledge, this was the most I was ever scared by a movie when I was a kid. Just look at them in the picture- their evil, satanic eyes are trying to burn a hole straight through your soul.

How The Grinch Stole Christmas! is pretty much a Christmas staple in our house, along with Mickey’s Christmas Carol and Mr. Hankey’s Christmas Classics. But the one thing The Grinch has that the others don’t is the despicable Cindy Lou Who. That little thing is so over the top sweet that the word saccharine doesn’t apply- she created the term “aspartame sweet.” Anyone who can inspire the Grinch to have the strength of 10 Grinches plus 2 is way too sweet for me.

If you were unfortunate enough to see Robots, then you probably know that Fender is one of the most annoying characters in the history of animation. Robin Williams got a lot of praise as the genie in Aladdin, but he was relatively under control in that movie. For Robots, I think the recording engineers gave him pixie sticks, amphetamines, and Jolt Cola before each session. He is so out of control the entire time that all he does is distract you from everything else in the movie, not that there’s much going on. I’d rather watch a classroom full of kids with ADHD than that stupid red robot.

Here it is, the most vile, foul, evil creation to ever exist in an animated movie- that dick who shot Bambi‘s mom. Even though we never see him, he still totally makes the list. In the history of movies, is there a character responsible for more tears than that psychotic, gun-wielding piece of trash? Like my Magic 8-Ball would reply, “My sources say no.” Untold numbers of children went into that movie expecting to see the mischievous antics of a deer and his woodland friends, but instead were forced to face the cold, cruel reality of death. Bambi’s mom’s death may be the lowest, most ignoble moment in movie history.

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