Kill Reverence and You’ve Killed the Hero in Man

So, it’s been several years now since Hollywood tried to kill me. It was 1998 and a couple jackasses named Gus Van Sant and Brian Grazer thought it was time to remake Psycho. Who the hell thought it was a good idea? A shot-for-shot remake of one of cinema’s most revered horror movies. Ooooh, that’s interesting! Maybe someone will do a word-for-word rewrite of The Great Gatsby next! The whole idea of that remake totally disgusted me- I didn’t watch a Van Sant movie until Elephant.

[imdb Friday the 13th]Now I see that Michael “I’ll-do-ya-one-better” Bay is producing a remake of Friday the 13th. Another iconic movie getting dumped on. It’s spawned 10 sequels/spin-offs, a TV show, and countless Halloween costumes. Why a remake? Take Jason and call it Friday the 13th: something. I couldn’t care less about that. I might even watch it. Why reuse the same characters in the same settings with the same plot lines? We’ve already seen that movie. I can understand remakes of foreign films to make them palatable for domestic audiences, but why something we already know and love? We’ve already suffered a Halloween remake. At least someone gets it.

These remakes are what really, honestly makes me Furious. Not only are they crapping on our history, they’re not giving us anything new to appreciate. It disgusts me and makes me feel like giving up, at least where movies are concerned. AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!! Does anyone else feel as despondent as me?

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