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By Furious, on June 4th, 2010
This is the first in a mini-series of posts I started last year but never completed. Zombie Post sounds like a good name, both because I like zombies and because I am pretty much bringing this topic back from the dead.
I saw The Hangover. And I laughed like most people did. Seeing baby Carlos jackin’ it was pretty funny. I’m hoping you’ve seen the movie before you read that last sentence. Watching those guys run all over Las Vegas and get into zany adventures was a decent way to spend an hour-and-a-half.
But once it was over and I walked out of the theater, during that period of quiet reflection while your eyes adjust to the over-bright world outside, the movie didn’t seem quite as brilliant as it did scant moments before. The feeling just wouldn’t leave me, like that crap-cloud that hung around Pig-Pen from Peanuts. I spent several uneasy minutes trying to figure out what happened. Like the way you slowly recognize a friend you haven’t seen for twenty years, it eventually came to me. The Hangover was just another rip-off.
If the similarities don’t immediately strike you, I composed a table highlighting some of the most egregious points:
The Hangover vs Dude, Where’s My Car
| Hangover |
Dude |
| Wake up with hangovers and no memory of the night before |
Wake up with hangovers and no memory of the night before |
| Gotta find their friend |
Gotta find their car |
| They retrace their steps from the night before |
They retrace their steps from the night before |
| Can’t let their wives find out they lost their friend |
Can’t let their girlfriends find out they lost their presents |
| Cleo King plays a cop who lets them get their car out of impound |
Cleo King plays an impound officer who releases their car from impound |
| A blond escort moves the story along |
A blond transgendered stripper moves the story along |
| They’re harassed by Chinese men |
They’re harassed by Norwegian men |
| They mess around with a tiger |
They mess around with an ostrich |
| They’re made fun of by a Chinese man |
They’re made fun of by a Chinese restaurant |
| Mike Tyson pops up for a cameo |
Andy Dick pops up for a cameo |
| They’re bullied by a Chinese gang |
They’re bullied by a gang of jocks |
| One character has the surprise ability to count cards |
One character has the surprise ability to solve a Rubik’s Cube |
| Some character is randomly reminded of a trivial bit of information from the beginning of the movie that proves pivotal to the plot |
Some character is randomly reminded of a trivial bit of information from the beginning of the movie that proves pivotal to the plot |
As you can see, from the basic premise (hungover guys trying to find what they lost) to the casting of Cleo King in almost the same role, The Hangover apes Dude, Where’s My Car at every turn. It’s not really arguable that The Hangover didn’t steal the basic plot. The best you could do is say that it was heavily influenced by Dude, Where’s My Car. You could be so bold as to call it an homage. Or you could be a buzzword-spouting dick and call it a reimagining.
It’s too bad that Dude, Where’s My Car had to have it’s good name shat upon by The Hangover. But it’s even worse that everyone, regrettably even me, handed over their hard-earned scratch to watch the same recycled garbage over again. I like funny movies. I like them more when I haven’t seen THE EXACT SAME DAMN MOVIE BEFORE. The Hangover is to me like those pair of shoes you wear when you step in a steamy dog turd- no matter how much you liked them before, now they’ll always have that stinky brown stigma on them.
By Furious, on June 2nd, 2010
Well, today marks the one year anniversary since I last posted on the site. You may be wondering what the hell happened to me. I mean, I was pretty reliable for a while, throwing out new posts several times a week, if not every day. You’re thinking maybe I joined a monastery. Maybe I became lost backpacking in the Canadian wilderness. Perhaps I was finally thrown in the clink. Go ahead and get as creative as you want, because the truth won’t be as good as what you can come up with, unless you’re thinking I was just doing the same thing I was doing before, sans updating the website. If that’s the best you can come up with, well that’s just sad. But unfortunately it’s pretty much right on.
I have this problem. I really like movies. Really I do. I love watching them and talking about them and thinking about them and reading about them. You know, I really like them. But I have this problem. For some stupid reason, and I know I should know better, I start looking at the business side of movies and it just sucks all the joy out of movies for me. I’m not sure exactly what it is, but once I start looking into budgets and box office and salaries and whatnot, I start fixating on them and then that’s all I see. Then it’s like the last thing I want to do is watch a movie. It never fails.
So I guess starting last June 3rd, what I really needed to do was figure out how to start enjoying movies again. It wasn’t something I was consciously thinking about, but looking back I think that’s what it was. I didn’t have a plan in mind, but things started to change on or around the afternoon of July 7th, 2009.
 Ain't she cute Long ago I made this vow to myself, kind of like in Orgazmo when Choda Boy vowed he wouldn’t do Hamster style any more. At some point I decided it just wasn’t important to me to go to a theater to see a movie. Really, I just had no interest. Then on July 7th I went on a bender of sorts. I went to the theater five times in three days. I saw Public Enemies, The Hangover, Year One, Bruno, and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. For me at least, Ice Age was by far the best of those movies. I can’t say I enjoyed the first two Ice Ages all that much, but the third one was gangbusters. It could have had something to do with Buck really reminding me of my ferret, Mugsy. She’s in heaven now, but I swear Buck must’ve been based on her. Had to be.
By the time those three days were up, I was kind of a drooling idiot from spending so much time in a dark room in front of a giant screen, but I think that started to heal some of the damage done by my Box Office Mojo subscription. Further repair was done in September when I rented [REC] and Inside. They were the first foreign movies I’d seen in a while and they were both very satisfying, for what they were. Then I watched Rambo and it’s like the money-centric demon inside me had been exorcised and I could just enjoy watching movies again. I made fun of The International’s name when it was released, but I was able to let it go and enjoy the movie. I didn’t find Adventureland too disagreeable. I even watched The Proposal and didn’t feel compelled to leave the room. I was back.
Now that I’m comfortable with movies again (I mean I sat through New Moon), I figured it’s time I should start writing about them again. Because I love them. I really do. Happy Anniversary.
By Furious, on June 2nd, 2009
So much for my thoughts on having a $200 million weekend. It was the fourth biggest weekend of the year, but it fell $10 million short of last week, with $166 million overall.
Up easily made it to first place by about $44 million. Pixar’s tenth movie pulled in $68,108,790, about $7 million more than my prediction. Up also set the new standard for 3D openings, with just over $35 million coming from the extra-dimensional showings. It followed the recent weekly record-breaking trend and took the biggest 3D opening crown from 10-week old Monsters vs Aliens. I’m not exactly a slavish fan of everything Pixar does, but it’s heartwarming to see that the they’ve become so successful without always packing their movies full of quasi-celebrities and [...]
Continue reading Weekend Report: Things Are Looking Up
By Furious, on May 29th, 2009
So far this year, the biggest overall weekend at the box office was back on January 16 when Paul Blart: Mall Cop took the world by storm. The total spent on movies that weekend was $192,903,837. There’s a chance this weekend could top that.
Up is the widest release this weekend, in 3,766 theaters. It’s also the tenth feature put out by Pixar, and their name has basically become the gold standard in computer animation. And they’re really trying to make a point that their name is bigger than the subject of whatever movie they put forth. Cars was about a car that got arrested and had to repave a road, Ratatouille was about a rat that wanted to be a chef, and WALL-E was about [...]
Continue reading Weekend Predictions: 05-29-09
By Furious, on May 22nd, 2009
 Since starting this site, I’ve had a growing fascination with metrics by which movies are measured. Being mathematically inclined, I guess it was a nice fit. Plus it’s more interesting to look into the numbers behind some of these movies than it is to watch them.
My history delving into movie numbers only goes back to last September, so I don’t have a long history of knowledge to draw from, but it seems to me that even since just last year, there’s been a noticeable increase in the importance of a movie having a big opening weekend. Sure, having a big opening weekend should always be the goal of a movie, but it takes several weeks for [...]
Continue reading The Growing Importance Of Opening Weekend
By Furious, on May 22nd, 2009
The combination of a scifi action movie, a family movie, and a comedy has been pretty popular with Hollywood. So far this year we’ve seen the combination on February 6th, May 1st, and April 10th. Oh, and again this weekend.
Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian plays the role of the family movie. The difference between this movie and the original is that it takes place in SURPRISE! the Smithsonian. Other than giving the museum more advertising than it’s ever had during it’s entire existence, I suppose all it really means is that there will be different exhibits to rankle Ben Stiller’s character, which is probably all people really want out of the movie: Ben Stiller overacting.
The first Night at the Museum made $250 [...]
Continue reading Weekend Predictions: 05-22-09
By Furious, on May 20th, 2009
 It’s been, golly, like a couple weeks since any news of a board game movie has surfaced. I hoped that people finally realized what stupid ideas these movies were and quietly axed them all. Yeah, it was naive of me to think that.
Hasbro finally broke the board game radio silence, announcing they’re getting close to convincing Peter Berg to direct the movie adaptation of Battleship. Obviously, since there is no plot in the game, details on a possible story are nonexistent, unless saying they’ve going for an epic naval action adventure-y type of movie counts as plot details.
Berg is a passable enough director, but it’s going to take a hell of a lot more than [...]
Continue reading Battleship Movie Heads To Drydock
By Furious, on May 19th, 2009
It was a contentious battle for first place at the box office this weekend. The Hollywood big shots faced off against the scifi spectacle, with millions of dollars hanging in the balance.
Angels & Demons managed to hold off Star Trek and claim first place, pulling in $46,204,168. My prediction was only about $18 million high, but I’m not upset- it’s always good to get knocked down a peg after a string of successes. It was a little hard to know exactly what A&D was going to do because 1) The Da Vinci Code had a huge opening weekend and 2) it was the first big non-scifi movie in a couple weeks. Both of those factors made me think it could be a big weekend, but [...]
Continue reading Weekend Report: Angels Keep Star Trek At Bay
By Furious, on May 18th, 2009
 These studio executives, they’ve had a good month. First Fox Sweden’s CEO says ratings promote piracy. Now the CEO of Sony Pictures Entertainment says nothing good has come of the Internet.
At a recent panel on the future of filmmaking, CEO Michael Lynton said, “I’m a guy who doesn’t see anything good having come from the Internet. Period.” He further goes on to claim the Internet has “created this notion that anyone can have whatever they want at any given time. It’s as if the stores on Madison Avenue were open 24 hours a day. They feel entitled. They say, ‘Give it to me now,’ and if you don’t give it to them for [...]
Continue reading Sony Pictures CEO Says Nothing Good Has Come From The Internet
By Furious, on May 15th, 2009
You’d think that Hollywood studios are always competing against each other, but this month’s evidence shows that it’s really a coordinated dance. The big movie season kicked off with X-Men Origins: Wolverine on May 1st. That was a Fox release. The only new competition that weekend was from Ghosts of Girlfriends Past (Warner Bros.), which aimed for a totally different audience than Wolverine. The next weekend Paramount released Star Trek, the only other new wide release was a tiny comedy from tiny distributor Summit Entertainment. This weekend Sony is releasing Angels & Demons, the only wide release. Next weekend has Paramount releasing a comedy, Fox a family movie, and Warner Bros. a big scifi actioner. The last week of May brings a Disney animated movie [...]
Continue reading Weekend Predictions: 05-15-09
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